1) Describe, in your own words, beauty.
Something that takes your breath away when you look at it and never fails to do so no matter how many times you see it. Something that sends that shiver up your spine. Something you feel a compulsion to reach out and touch but don't quite dare to.
2) Describe, in your own words, the difference between loving and being in love.
Loving someone for me is a continual feeling of wanting to spend lots of time with them and hug them a lot and be there for them and just the general feeling when I talk with them that the world is a far, far better place with them in. I'm not entirely sure where that crosses into 'in love', or what 'in love' is, these days, but I suspect the difference is that being in love hurts. (I know, I know. Only question two and I've already reached for the stapler. :)
3) Do you believe coincidences happen?
Yes, although I believe that destiny occasionally wakes up and makes things happen as well.
4) Do you ever plan to have children? If so, how many?
I really don't like young children and I don't think I could bear to put myself through the extremely unpleasant experience of carrying one around and then giving birth to it. Also, if I had children they would be called Tobias, Sebastian, Leland and Sukey and they would grow up wanting to kill me. Probably best not. :)
5) Do you fear death?
I fear unexpected death. As long as I can prepare for it I don't believe I'm going to die. You don't get rid of me that easily.
6) Do you fear life?
Some days, yes.
7) Do you fear pain?
Once a month, yes. But every other kind of pain is either useful (migraines), strangely enjoyable (backache and any kind of joint pain) or enjoyable in a way that isn't strange at all.
8) Has music ever scared you? If so, what was it?
Yes. Tristan once played me Whitehouse, which scared me. '25 Cromwell Street' by Apoptygma Berzerk, 'Stigmata' by Ministry...I can't think of any more just now, but there are more.
9) Have you ever genuinely hated anyone?
Oh, goodness yes.
10) Have you ever had surgery? If so, what kind?
No, thank heavens. I don't know how I'd cope.
11) Have you ever seen a tornado? Would you ever chase one?
Sadly, no. It's not the kind of extreme weather I'd really want to be involved with, either, so I probably wouldn't chase it, either.
12) How bad (or good) is your eyesight?
Not quite as flawless as it used to be, but awfully good nonetheless.
13) How do you think the world will end?
Not with a bang but with a Dubya.
14) How important are memories to you?
More important than many, many things. I'm a hoarder and my walls are covered with things that have memories attached. I have a lot of difficulty letting go of the past but I don't often see that as a negative thing.
15) How loud can you scream?
If I put my mind to it, probably loud enough to break things. I don't know, though. I've never done that much screaming around anyone who was in a position to tell me how loud I can do it...
16) How many dramatic, life-altering events have you experienced or witnessed?
How long have you got? It doesn't take much to change my life, though it takes more now than it used to, of course.
17) How many languages do you wish you knew (and which ones)?
Italian properly, Basque, Catalan, Irish Gaelic, Welsh, Hebrew. I think that's all I really wish I knew, though obviously all languages are good.
18) How soon will you get your next body modification and what will it be?
I doubt very much I'll ever get anything pierced, but one day I may well want a tattoo. It's a long story though. And I may be too scared ever to get one.
19) How would you captivate an audience?
Darling, I do it every day. Watch and learn.
20) If given the choice, how would you want to die?
Ah, growing up. My answer to this question always used to read 'Slowly and painfully at the hands of someone I loved'. Now it reads 'Not at all'. Someday maybe I'll graduate to 'Quietly and peacefully with no knowledge of it'...
21) If given the choice, which of your senses would you lose first?
My sense of smell. I couldn't stand to be without any of the others.
22) If you could learn a trade or skill, what would it be?
Decorative metalwork. Actually, sod that, just being able to draw would be good.
23) If you could wake up as someone else tomorrow, who would you be?
Mrr. Simon Le Bon. I'd get to spend time with Nick Rhodes and John Taylor and I'd also get to sing all the Duran Duran songs on stage. Oh, and maybe write something decent in apology for 'Astronaut'. ~shakes head~
24) Name one song (or more) that makes you cry, and why.
I was listening to one last night - 'Flames', by V.A.S.T. It's just so beautiful. Everyone should hear it. But there are lots of songs that fit into that category.
25) Name something you take seriously that other people might not (and vice versa).
Other people's beliefs about themselves. If you think you've got wings, then as far as I'm concerned, as a general rule I will try to avoid clipping them.
26) Pick your poison.
Coke, pretty boys and synthpop, please.
27) To whom have you lied?
My parents, and a lot of people at school. And not many people since.
28) What article of clothing could you do without for the rest of your life?
I could happily live without ever having to wear trousers again.
29) What do you like most about yourself?
I have a wonderful personality and good hair. :)
30) What do you like least about yourself?
Oh, y'know. I'm clingy and overemotional and hyperactive and giddy and young and too big and too ugly. But life seems to give me good things nonetheless.
31) What do you wish you had been named?
Almost anything else.
32) What have you gotten rid of that you now wish you had kept?
Nothing much, but mother has been responsible for throwing things away that I wish I'd kept. And the cleaners at school threw away an entire box file of my writing which I really wish I still had.
33) What have you saved that you wish you had gotten rid of?
Nothing springs to mind. I'll want many things again one day, even if I don't want to go through them right now.
34) What is the best live performance you have ever seen?
Goldfrapp this year were staggeringly good; Diana Montague as Octavian in Der Rosenkavalier in Madrid; the Human League at the Brighton Centre. I like seeing things live, though, so it's all good.
35) What is the most meaningful word you have ever heard?
I've honestly no idea. I don't really know what might count.
36) What is the most serious crime you would be willing & able to commit?
Very likely only the ones I've already committed. Unless I lived in a world where I stood no chance whatsoever of being caught.
37) What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?
38) What is your best-kept secret?
I don't have secrets.
39) What is your experience, if any, with illegal substances?
It's just not my thing - I wouldn't want to fuck with my already fairly bizarre conscious or subconscious mind. I'm getting to object less to other people being on drugs around me, though.
40) What is your favorite:
Mode of transportation? - Boat. Not that I get to do that much these days. Or horse and carriage. I know, I know.
Name, male and/or female? - Sebastian/Sarah.
Season? - Autumn.
Type of writing instrument? - Calligraphy pen, but it's hardly the most practical.
41) What is your favorite:
Smell? - Melting butter; wood fires; second-hand records.
Sound? - Many things done only by synthesisers, or the voice of someone I love.
Taste? - Vanilla, probably.
Texture or sensation? - Cold metal.
42) What is your fondest memory?
This is difficult, because I have a tendency to be upset by even my good memories (because they're of things I can't have any more). So in some senses it's Wednesday, and in some senses it's probably the day mum came home and told us she'd been made a Dame, and, oh, I don't know. There are lots, really.
43) What is your greatest fear?
Humiliation. And spiders.
44) What is your oddest or quirkiest talent?
I can't think of anything. All my talents are perfectly standard. :)
45) What is your strongest-held belief?
Duran Duran's first album is one of the best ever made.
Well, it's the only one I can cite any evidence to back up, and the only one that hasn't changed in the last six years...
46) What makes you nostalgic?
Oh, god, everything. Really. :)
47) What makes you strong?
Having to be strong. ~shrug~ I don't know how I do it, but it seems to work.
48) What makes you vulnerable?
I trust people very easily and have, as someone much more charitable than me put it, "the ability to love the world"; it may be a good thing but it does make one awfully vulnerable at times.
49) What place have you been to that you never want to return to again?
The front at Southend. Visiting the people who currently live there is obviously a good thing, but the town itself gives me The Fear. Also Fantasialand in Germany, which when I was eight or so was the most terrifying place I'd ever been - it was a theme park of some description but it was wet and bedraggled and threadbare and full of mad people in animal suits who wanted to kidnap me. Or possibly it just seemed that way at the time. :)
50) What religion, if any, were you raised in?
I think by the time I came along mum had realised she didn't entirely believe in anything any more, so I wasn't really raised in anything.
51) What would you put on a vanity license plate?
I've never really thought about it. Hmm. TH3 R3FLEX, perhaps. :)
52) What would you teach to someone else?
French, English grammar, the ability to question oneself.
53) What would you want to be remembered for?
Whatever makes people remember me. I would want it to be different for each person who encountered me.
54) Where must you go before you die?
Egypt, back to Ireland, back to Chicago, back to Boston, back to San Francisco, everywhere in England.
55) Who are "your people"?
This lot, really.
56) Who, if anyone, has broken your heart?
Several people, but I don't think they need namechecking. Oh, except Tom at prep school. The bastard. :)
57) Who, if anyone, has mended it?
I think it's happened over time, though not necessarily over very much time. It's more to do with how I respond to people than anything they actually do.
58) Who is the most important person in your life?
My family, and asrana.
59) Why are we here?
We make a good sitcom for the watchers up in the sky somewhere. I don't know.
60) Why are you here?
Because I can't be there. :)
Give me strength and patience to deal with this awful woman who treats me like a fifteen-year-old and thinks BDSM is about wanting to be a vampire...