I have just crawled across the floor to the computer, after dropping to the ground when dennyd left and absolutely sobbing my heart out - really, I think I felt it leave. Agonised sobs, so much pain I was screaming from it. No, we've not broken up or anything. I just can't take what the world is doing to me any more. It. hurts. so. much.
I don't know what I'll do. I suppose I'll just sit here, talking to the internet until I feel less comprehensively like dying. I'll get through this. I always do. But I've not cried like that in over a year, now, the last time being when dennyd went into hospital. I just can't take it any more, I can't, I can't. I know it sounds like melodrama of the highest order and maybe it is, but I just don't end up screaming in a heap on the floor all that often, really, and I don't like it. very much. at all.
I'm really scared, but I don't think there's anything anyone can do, so I shall go and sit upstairs and try to calm down. I'll be ok, I'm sure, but this is not a good feeling to have to go through.
Edit : asrana, who is wonderful, is coming over tonight, so I'll definitely be ok. This is good.