• Mood: indescribable
• Music: 'Marian' (not helping, of course, but oh well.)

"Marian, I think I'm drowning; this sea is killing me."

I have spent the last few days suffocating under the weight of other people's broken dreams, sobbing as the sharp splinters were thrust into me, bleeding and sinking and screaming and close to dying. Very close.

Or, to put it less pretentiously, I've gone through hell in the last couple of days, but all of it has been other people's hell; thus, they need your time and energy more than I do but please be a bit gentle with me anyway. It's been rough. Edit : 'Be gentle with me' does not mean 'I can't deal with any more stress, please don't drop anything else on my head'. I'm really ok, despite everything, and if there's anything I can do I am still here for people and I can cope - please don't keep things back from me because you're worried I won't be able to deal with them. Please? Thank you.
Anyway...


Friday night was Back From The Future, which would have been great had it not been packed to the gills with drunken idiots who did several of the things I can't forgive clubgoers for, such as standing like lemons on the dancefloor chatting to their mates during songs they didn't want to dance to, and trying to come up and slobber over you after you've quite clearly told them to fuck off and die. I couldn't actually dance at all after the first couple of hours, so spent the rest of the evening catching people's angst and getting migrainey. The music really was great, it's just somewhat stifling not to be able to dance to really good music. Ah well. There were lovely people there, in amongst the drunks and bag ladies and such.

Collapsed at wildeabandon's and the next day gathered up necro_angel and took her to see Van Helsing with rathenar, which was Extremely Silly and lots of fun and shiny and cute and stuff. There may be slash. Then sat chatting in a pub for a while, which was good, and then rathenar was great at me for ages while I cried a bit. Thank you! Also ran into devalmont and gave him hugs, which is always good. Sometime we really have to do that DVD thing. ~nod~

Then back to wildeabandon's for Futurama followed by sleep, in theory - actually mostly nightmares and not sleeping, but hey. And then yesterday went over to ghoti's to fulfil my general role as visiting home help, after which [caffeine] with giolla and then the coach to Milton Keynes to stay with dennyd. And here I am.

Broken and aching and bloody and drained. But, y'know, that's just me, and none of it's *my* angst, so I'm ok really. ~smile~

E.
x