DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,
DurAnorak
duranorak

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Oh, dear.

Just watched CD:UK. I know it's my own fault for sitting and watching it, but, but, argh.

Before I start on Peter Fucking Andre, I would like to talk about this week's number one. This week's number one is by a young lady named Frankee. Last week's number one was by a young man named Eamon. Apparently these two little darlings used to be what one might call 'an item'. They then broke up, after which Eamon proceeded to write a charming little number called 'Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back)'. The chorus, you ask?
"Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you ho, I dont want you back..."

It moves one almost to tears, doesn't it?

Now - oh, those crazy celebrities! - Ms. Frankee has issued her rebuttal, a strangely similar song titled 'F.U.R.B.' (which would stand for 'Fuck You Right Back', but I can't help thinking of it as 'Furby'...)
I can't do justice to it without quoting it all, so here you go :

"(You know there is two sides to every story)

See I don't know why you cryin' like a bitch
Talkin' shit like a snitch
Why you write a song 'bout me
If you really didn't care
You wouldn't wanna share
Tellin' everybody just how you feel

Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back

You thought you could really make me moan
I had better sex all alone (ha ha ha ha)
I had to turn to your friend
Now you want me to come back
You must be smokin' crack
Im goin' else where and thats a fact

Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
Fuck it, I faked it, aren't you proud
Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
Well guess what yo, your sex was wack

You questioned did I care
Maybe I would have if you woulda gone down there
Now it's over
But I do admit i'm glad I didn't catch your crabs
I can't sweat that cause I got to go

Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back."


This is fucking number fucking one in the fucking charts.
Ahem. Sorry. All that swearing is catching.
But seriously. This is number one in the charts.

It hurts, but honestly, not as much as Peter Andre's newest assault on our senses, the infamous 'Insania'.
Not only is it just frankly bad, it's frankly bad in a horribly mid-90s way - it sounds like some godawful orgy between Take That and Michael Jackson and, sadly, also Peter Fucking Andre. It's bad in the most unbearable of ways.

I'm now going to sing some unfortunate opera, which will be a blessing after all that.

E.
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