As for what you said you wanted to do, y'know, I'd really like that. ~smile~
I stroke people's egos for a quasi-living, yes, but you're an engaged man now and don't need someone you've never even met to be doing that for you.
Oh, and since you asked specifically, my response to your first answer is either "Mmm, Bolan" or "Yes. I know." Why so interested? :)
I did know that, actually. ~hug~
Yes. Yes. We must do that, and soon.
And - oh, god, I don't know. From here it looks like I might spend the rest of it trying to work my way back out of this absurd situation. Heh. But seriously...I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up being Really Fucking Famous for something, although whether as an opera singer or the world's first official By Royal Appointment submissive or what, I don't know. What else? I don't know. More of the same, I expect, which isn't a thrilling prospect but...but, it's what I do.
I'm sure you told me that on Friday night. Didn't you?
Sounds like a plan. Do give me a shout if you're free to do that at any point?
And - you know, so many people have asked me that in the last couple of years, and I've never been able to find the real answer. I mean, the first answer is obviously "Because I feel guilty over whatever it is", but when it's something that is quite blatantly not my fault, that's just not enough.
The most concrete reason I can find so far is that (blah, blah, insecuity, blah) I like (not necessarily "need", I suppose) reassurance, and apologising for something often garners the response "It's ok" (or similar) - not much, perhaps, but when I hear it it's like the person telling me not just that whatever happened is ok, but that I'm ok, and that it's ok for me to be around them.
Now, why it wouldn't be ok for me to be around them in the first place is a different question entirely, but I think we covered a lot of that. Although by "covered" I obviously mean "got absolutely nowhere with over a long period of time."
There's more, but I have to get off the computer now so the boyfriend can geek for a while. Still, if there's anything else you want to ask I have no doubt that you will.
~rereads~ Tsk. My mistake; misread. That said, I still can't think of fifteen words that I could use when "nonexistent" will do just fine...
In answer to your question, milk and as many sugars as is considered respectable in any given household.
In answer to your question, it's mostly very bad memories from every time I've been. The first time I was left on my own, not knowing anyone, for nearly four hours; another time I had someone I loved say something extraordinarily unkind to me and ended up walking home, in the rain, at 3am. It's not been a good place for me. I'll go again, eventually, but it will have to be with someone I've not been with before.
In answer to your question, what exactly are you asking "Why?" about? If you're asking why it's my greatest fear (which it is), then, well, I could write a whole chapter on that. But it sounded like you were asking why I liked it, in which case I think you might have got your wires crossed, or be meaning something other than what I'm thinking of. Care to elaborate?
E.
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