DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,
DurAnorak
duranorak

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Introspection. Love. Whatever.

It must be Spring. My heart is having difficulty staying still again, aching over things that happened a long time ago, to other people, who don't particularly care about me. Who wouldn't believe or understand it if I took their hand and said "I care so much. I feel for you so much."

I can never work out whether it's only me and a handful of others that feel like this, or only me and a handful of others that tell people we feel it. On the one hand, I can't understand how anyone could feel something this overwhelming and *not* say anything about it; on the other hand, given the responses I so often get from people when I do tell them, sometimes I think it would be better if I never did say anything.

And of course, the people I do sometimes feel this surge of love for are nearly always the ones who just can't handle it. Who assume that by "I care so much about you" I somehow meant "I care so much about you, so I want you to care back" or "so I expect you to care back" or, worse, "and I think you care about me, don't you? Will you marry me?" or something equally ridiculous.
For heaven's sake. It's just that you said something that made me wish you didn't hurt. Is that really so awful? I mean, honestly, is it? Is there something that I'm missing?
Or how would you like me to express it? What would make you feel less uncomfortable?
Because, you know, the last thing I want to do is add to your distress.

Sigh.

E.
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