Picture this.
Side by side in the car together, giggling silly conversations half about BDSM and half just for the sake of it. Avoiding looking at him, partly because he wouldn't see and partly to avoid as much of the memory of spontaneously kneeling to him as possible. After all, I only did it so he could read my badges. Later I will nearly mention it, and not, in fact. Now, I bury my face in her shoulder and try to laugh.
Wincing at the noise (I'm sure it was music really) as the headache gets worse. Drinking water slowly in the hopes that I won't have to loosen my corset tonight. Watching people arrive; harmless people, the Camgoth Vampyre, then
Then
More people - I can't remember what order, or who, really. Suddenly I hear the soaring notes of 'Subtext' by Swarf (if you're reading this,
At some point I notice that she has arrived. I try not to look at her. I will, though, be doing enough staring later.
Vince and his lady arrive, coming up the stairs hand in hand. I smile, though I remark afterwards that that's what corsets are for, to hold in the pieces of your heart.
I try to dance to 'I Am The Rain' but it only makes me miss
The setlist takes a turn for the depressive (though not, particularly, to me) so I sit out and talk with people I love and avoid looking at other ones. And then it's 'Cuts You Up' and I would be locked in memories of blue-white pain were it not for the dear boy who gets up to dance in the most hilariously pretentious way I have ever seen, next to me. Instead I end the song laughing, for the first time in over a year.
Back to the table. I try not to be as irritated as I feel, letting most of it wash over me. Suddenly someone taps me on the shoulder, and I turn to see someone I've never met. She starts with "You are the most beautiful thing any of us have ever seen" and continues like this for some time, telling me I make corsets seem worthwhile, that I look like a painting, that I'm gorgeous, beautiful...she all but runs out of words, trips herself up with the ones she has left, tells me to have a great night and then goes to the bar. I am stunned, and touched, and amazed, and have said as much.
I watch her embarrassing a wine bottle and wonder what I'm doing wrong, if everything I was just told is true. Ah well. I look unconvincing in a suit, anyway.
Later, I dance to 'Another World' because of what
Oh, was there music. '(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight' (not looking at anyone...just in case), 'Union Of The Snake' (what can I say?), 'Peekaboo' ("she'll do what you want her to", not that it matters to you), then later 'I'm Afraid Of Americans' and a remix of 'Closer' that would have destroyed me even more than usual had it not had bits of 'Baby One More Time' included. Nevertheless I bear a few scratches. The boy with the silly dancing was trying so hard to catch my eye. It was sweet. I looked at the DJ booth and it stared back. I looked at Vince, but not for long. I looked at
I couldn't quite bring myself to dance to 'That's The Way (I Like It)' - even Pete Burns can't quite make aerobics sexy - but then I heard some bass notes I recognised. Uttely, completely stunned, I fell onto the dancefloor for 'Starburst' by the Venus Hunters. In case you're not aware, this is the song from a very silly TV programme called 'Hunting Venus', starring Neil Morrissey, Martin Clunes and others as ex-members of a fictional New Romantic band. I danced, my migraine lifted, I smiled and spun around with joy. Techno 'Phantom Of The Opera' soon after, complete with drunken wailing from annoying trendies. I did consider throwing something over them, but decided it's too hard to fight in a corset. Ah well.
And so on. Waved around in a pretentious manner to 'Stay' and 'Wuthering Heights'. Reacquainted myself with the joys of Mortiis. Tried to help a suffering
And then home. For a surprisingly comfortable, unsurprisingly comforting half hour or so of warmth and something that might have been friendship, and then sleep.
Oh, and pizza. And bad hair metal.
Sorry. I've been missing writing, and so I just had to get that out of my system.
E.
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