DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,

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Kids are bastards, part 4762.

R : Even when my self-esteem was at its lowest, I didn't think like that.
Me : I know. But, I learned to think like that. Mind you, it was at school, which is supposed to suck.
R : Sometimes I wonder why we inflict it on any child.
Me : Oh, on balance I think I'd rather have it this way round. I mean, school throws a lot of horrible things at you, but I'd much rather face that and come out the other side than have everything be wonderful at school and then have everything fall to pieces when I grew up.

Which is true as far as it goes. But still. I would like to find all the boys and girls who are responsible for my genuinely believing that it is more likely for someone to have mistaken me for someone else than for them to find me attractive; for my feeling guilty about finding people attractive because I believe that if they find out they will be physically sick; for my assuming that if someone professes to find me attractive they are going to go on to have a good laugh about it with their mates behind my back, or even to my face.

I don't know what I'd like to do to them, though.

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