DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,
DurAnorak
duranorak

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Party. And things.

Wow. What an excellent weekend that was. Huge, huge thanks to lolliepopp for organising a truly excellent party.


I don't know quite where to start, really. So, stuff.
Met louis_mallow and emmy_mallow. They are both utterly gorgeous.
Met heteronormative, who gave me The Fear.
Perodically giggled at adjectivemarcus giving everyone else The Fear, although not me as I've not seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
barking_watcher, on the other hand, gave me Fear enough for two people. His face fell off over the course of the party. Gradually. No, really. ~fear~
Met angelmine, who is enchanting and lovely and made a frighteningly good Wednesday Addams.
Could not take my eyes off some_fox for more than a few seconds - still can't get over what a good babysimon she makes. :)
asrana was a star and held my hand through mid-party tilt toward moping. Managed to pick myself up and have a good time. Yay me.
Met sibelian. Fell over a lot. Expected to, though, so that's ok. :)
Finally met sanjibabes, who looked fab and indeed is fab. Didn't talk to her enough, but we'll do something about that one day.
Fell over a lot at djm4's outfit; some sadistic (or rather, in fact, unwitting) bastard gave him a walking cane. I'm sure some people thought it was funny. :)
Chatted with countess_sophia a little (but not enough). Will e-mail you soon darling.
Also expanded by one the "people I can kiss without bad bad things happening in my head" list, which is good.
All in all a really wonderful time with wonderful people, and yesterday and this morning spent with some combination of lolliepopp (who is an absolute star and bought me a belated birthday present which is very shiny indeed), djm4, sibelian, sweinhodge and [friend with LJ name I don't know]. Was good. Was very good. Thank you, people.


But.
I think I'm going to have to make a rule - hopefully only a temporary one, because it's going to make things a little difficult if it's permanent - that nobody is allowed to play with me when they've been drinking.
It's not that I won't let them - if that were the case I wouldn't need to make the rule. It's that I let them and then spend the next few hours days thinking that everything they said was a lie and they probably didn't even realise who I was. It's horribly, horribly damaging to my self-worth and if I let it happen any more times it's just going to screw everything up.
If you don't know who's to blame for me feeling like this, you can ask me if you want, but I don't really want that argument here - I know I had little enough self-worth to start with, so it's partly my own fault. But I'm just going to *have* to ask this of people who are wanting to play with me, because otherwise they're going to find themselves with someone who doesn't trust them at all but convincingly goes through all the motions. And that would be horrible - for most people, especially me.
And anyone for whom that sounds like an ideal situation, the words "running jump" spring to mind.

Yes, of course it needs to be discussed with individuals, and I'll do just that, I just wanted to set it out as a blanket rule for the moment.
In an lj-cut most people won't read. Oh well. :)



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