DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,
DurAnorak
duranorak

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Men in skirts and, erm, fish.

Men in skirts! Last night I went to see the current all-male Midsummer Night's Dream at the Comedy Theatre, and it was quite brilliant. the_lady_lily and feanelwa were quite right, I did fall over a lot at the Titania (in looks somewhere between Andy Bell from Erasure in 1992 and Rik Mayall when he was still stupidly attractive...oh, ok, it's just me) and had a certain amount of time for the Hermia and a particularly adorable understudy who didn't actually do anything but sit onstage.
But it was so good! And so interesting, and ~waves paws~ brilliant. So, yay. Also, no arguments with mum - no arguments to the tune of £20, as well, meaning I can pretty much do all the things I want to do without worrying for the next couple of weeks. Heh.

I don't want to admit to this, knowing as I do that it may well occasion another fortnight of teasing from dennyd. But.

I really don't expect anyone to read this - I just don't want to forget any of the few details I still have. It's horribly long and probably very dull if you're not me. :)

I don't know - I just can't remember - how this started. Or at what point it became about fish, actually - I think that was Morpheus having his little joke towards the end. What can I remember?...well.

I was in school again. Trying to pack up my things for the very last end of term I'd ever have to suffer. Only there were a few girls there who were moving in the following year and I just *could* not get them out of my face. I tried asking nicely, ordering them out, pushing them away, finally resorted to slapping and biting - violence I haven't done in dreams or in the real world for some time. I got rid of all but one, and she just sat there watching me pack.
Then, somehow, I knew I had to leave. Oddly like the premise of American McGee's 'Alice', a world I'd either once been part of or was still somehow part of was in danger.
Somewhere in between this was a game, which did involve fish, but only pixel ones. In a swimming pool. I lost.

Anyway. When I got to the other world, there was me, and my two or three allies (one of whom was some cross between Terry Brooks' Abernathy and Pumbaa from the Lion King - no, really.) against, well, mostly we knew not what.
This...creature was trying to conquer the last bit of the world. He'd ravaged unchecked through the rest of it - we didn't know why, really, but whole cities just surrendered as soon as he touched the gates. I knew him - possibly from childhood, or something.
And I knew what I had to do to defeat him. There was an army coming in from the west, but we didn't know if they were on our side or his. I had to bluff that they were on our side (if I could) - but that wasn't nearly all. He had henchme - er, henchcreatures. He himself wasn't entirely human, but he became more so over the course of the dream. He had a guard, a huge snake which would try to bite me - instant death if it succeeded. I can't remember its name, but in order to subdue it I had to shout "New Cross!" at it, which would shrink it to the size of an earwig so I could stamp on it.
Really.

There were other henchcreatures, but it wasn't my job to take care of those - my friends would keep them off me. My job was to get past the snake and go to the bad guy - and disable his entire campaign with one word. "Sanhedralite". We knew it was the right password. We'd gone to a lot of trouble to get it.

I paused, psyching myself up. Then, charging, running towards the snake as it reared up, screaming "New Cross! New Cross!" at it until it twisted up on itself and shrank and shrank, still trying to bite me as it got smaller and smaller. Trying to be very careful how I stood on it, since I knew it could get me through my boot if I wasn't. Finally shouting to one of my friends to take care of it as I ran on to The Bad Guy. I think he was someone I'd known since school. He was young, as I was. Smiling at me, saying "I knew you'd come."

"That army over the hill? They're our army," I said, "They're coming to stop you. It's going to be carnage, [name]. Carnage. Give up now, and you'll all be safe."
"I don't think so. See, I don't really care if they *are* your army. I'm not here for this bit of land and I certainly don't care about those highly dispensable men out there."
"You bastard. There are friends of both of ours among those men."
"I don't really have friends any more, you know. And in any case, we have still won. Look around you. You can see that."
I looked. We were standing on a ledge, and the land below and beyond it was red and barren and burned. I affected despair, knowing I had the one word that would destroy everything he'd worked for.

Then I looked him full in the face and said it. "Sanhedralite." Injected it with as much spite as I could. Yes! His face was full of distress - no, no, wait.
Not distress.
Pity.
He took my wrist almost gently. "Poor, poor child. You went to that much trouble? That word's been out of action for months." "Oh. Shit." I couldn't think of anything else to say as he pulled me to the edge. "Yes," he agreed, smiling - and then dived off, pulling me with him. We landed in a small, cramped shed of some kind. And it was filling up with water.
"What are you doing?"
"Winning. Once they find out I have you, your army will give up out of sheer stupid loyalty."
"And you're going to kill me?"
"Well, unless you can come up with a way to get out of here, yes, I think so."
"But you're in here with me."
"So we'll die together. Romantic, isn't it? It's all I ever really wanted, you know. You. And I know I can't have you the way I want, so I'll just have to settle for this."
I stared at him in horror. I'd had no idea. I looked around - there was really no way out. Except...I started to kick at the walls, my legs robbed of some of their power by the rising water. Finally, behind me, something shifted. I tried to turn round - but he was holding me, so *strong*, by the shoulders. I was only just strong enough to turn - and as I did, he, desperate, drew his dagger and wrenched it across my back. I'd imagine that changed the outcome of the dream slightly.
I kicked the back wall in. Scrambling over the splinters, bleeding everywhere, out into the hot sunshine, to find that - we'd won.
We'd won so quickly they'd even had time to build a huge black marble palace on the site of the battle. (Go with it.) I ran in - he followed me. My friend, the dog/warthog hybrid thing, decreed that the bad guy and all his followers should be permitted to flee, as long as they did it right this minute. And so he fled, to pack his things. And once he'd got his things together, he came back out into the main palace, and I passed him in the corridor, and he looked away and then turned and said over his shoulder, "Butyou'remeanttobemygirlfriendandIloveyou", very embarrassed, and made as if to go on. And that second I knew where my heart lay.
"Wait," I said, and went to him. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I was always meant to be your girlfriend."
The smile on his face was like a shadow across the moon - beautiful. Twisted. Something glittered in his hand - I looked down. He was holding out a pin, an ordinary dressmaking pin except that it was three or four inches long. I let the longing show on my face and he smiled wider, crueller, and drove it through my skin, just above my upper lip, through until it touched my tongue. Then he was gone.

I went to explain (with some difficulty, as you might imagine) this change in events, and then we went on to live happily ever after.
As fish. In a lift.

We weren't fish up until that point, you understand. I'm just frightened that I've twice dreamed about fish and sex in the same general dream.

So, spikeylady today, and then to see dennyd again, at long last. Bounce!

E.
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