DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,
DurAnorak
duranorak

My parents ruined my good evening, of course.

Spectacularly, this time, by mum telling me I'm the worst thing ever to happen to her (apparently beating miscarriages, abortions, marrying the most boring man in the world *and then* marrying my dad) and that she wishes I'd succeeded in topping myself when I tried or that [name] had managed to finish the job.

So I'm really very shaky and not terribly happy today. Not the greatest state to be in when going to talk to temping agencies, but that's what I have to do or I think my dad will finish the job my mum started last night, only he's not afraid to use a butcher's knife.

What I really want to do, of course, is take care of that this morning, watch them leave with a sense of enormous satisfaction, and then run away to Camden and beg for hugs. But if I do that he'll think I'm stalking him, where actually he's just the only person I know that I can *find* right now. I badly need some hugs and I've got the course tonight so I can't find anyone else later on. But I can't go out to him *again* because I did it yesterday. Argh.

God, I feel terrible. I didn't get to sleep until three; couldn't stop crying. Amazed I'm not still crying; maybe just too exhausted.

Help.

E.
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  • (no subject)

    So I was just thinking, ugh, I'm too crazy to post another song, why would I even bother anyway, when I was suddenly reminded of a track I had on Now…

  • (no subject)

    You know when everyone is going crazy about a book, or a film, or a band, and you just get sick to death of even seeing it mentioned, even by people…

  • (no subject)

    Well, clearly I'm not going to manage to post a song every day, because for the last...what is it, like, six? I have kept trying and then deciding…