I ask her something one day, she says yes, it's fine. The next I know she's decided it's not fine. Then it's fine. Then she's spoken to my dad and it's really not fine. Oh, for god's sake.
Actually, if I try really hard I can see her point of view on this one. I still think she's wrong, though. And so does my leg, which is bleeding through the plasters. Ow.
Anyway, to cheer me up - yeah, right -
-what is your current relationship status? Taken, taken, taken, available. :)
-what is your sexual orientation (if you don’t mind me asking)? Technically bisexual, though actually I don't think that for me, bisexual covers being attracted to men in very good drag...it's a long story. Anyway, bisexual plus others.
-what character traits do you look for in a potential interest? Some sense of humour crossover is essential...other than that it sort of depends whether they're one of the good guys or one of the bad guys.
-what sort of people do you like, as far as what they’re interested in in life? It seems to include geeks despite my having no geek interest myself. Also music geeks, goths, new romantics, psychotics, and much much more.
-what physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Good hair - not necessarily long, but it helps. Beautiful hands and eyes. Movement that suits them. Occasionally, scars.
-what kind of fashion-sense attracts you? Something where they've obviously chosen the best possible look for themselves. Even if it's trendy, if nothing could possibly suit them better then it's very attractive.
-what kind of hair style do you find attractive on a potential mate? Long hair good. Long hair very good.
-what is the usual age range you look at? Age? What?
-what traits turn you off? Alcoholism, idiocy, and me just not finding them attractive which is entirely subjective and occasionally mutable.
-do you prefer to date various people, or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? Eh. I plead the fifth.
-are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Terrified, I never do it.
- if you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? --
-what are the positive points about being single? ~shrug~ I honestly have no idea. It's only good being single if you're coming out of a really awful relationship. And even then...
-what are the negative points about being single? Being lonely. It's just sort of all-encompassing. It makes everything grey.
- when single, do you often find youself longing for companionship? Yes.
-how well do you handle rejection? Actually I haven't had to deal with it much lately, just because I haven't bothered asking anyone for anything. Except one person, but we'll leave him out of this because I don't want to scream any more this morning. Generally badly, anyway.
- do you miss your last sweetie? I don't even know who that was any more. I do miss my last boyfriend though - mostly as a person though, rather than as a boyfriend.
-do you think it’s better to look for love, or let it find you? Eh. Neither works.
-if you’re currently in a relationship right now, how long have you been in it? 6, 5 and 5 months roughly and respectively.
- what’s the longest relationship you’ve been in? A year. Sort of.
- the shortest? Two days! Hee! :)
- what are the positive points about being in a relationship? Being able to share beautiful things with someone else without feeling guilty for it, having someone to snuggle with, having someone who's there when you come 'home' (not that that will ever happen to me).
- what are the negative points about being in a relationship? Occasionally feeling trapped, jealousy, the things about the other person that are just hard to deal with.
-have you ever gone out with someone you didn’t know very well? All the time, heh.
- have you ever gone out with someone you had a crush on? Yes. Rarely though, I'm usually too scared to even talk to the crushes.
- have you ever gone out with someone who had a crush on you? I've no idea.
-what is an example of an ideal, perfect day with your sweetie? Which one? ~s~ Really, most days spent with them are good enough that I haven't bothered to idealise.
-how important is it to you to know the exact status of your relationships (ie “dating”, “going steady”, etc)? I can't bear not knowing where I stand.
- do you think couples should spend a very large amount of time together, or space things out a tad? Eh, I think it depends on the people.
-have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? Oh yes.
-when involved, do you try to think about the here and now or do you often think of the future? I *try* to think about the now, but it tends not to work. I tend to have the feeling that if I can't see where things are going then they're clearly just about to end. Sigh.
-how do you prefer to handle disagreements? I prefer to handle them by bursting into tears and running away, but I'm aware that it doesn't actually work so I try to do it by talking instead these days. :)
-how do you feel when your mate is mad at you and won’t tell you why? Paranoid. Apart from that I just leave them to it because I know I do exactly the same thing. Tsk.
-do you have a crush right now? Several, including one manifestly Wrong one.
-do they know? I don't know about some of them. Some of them certainly do.
-what’s the longest period of time you’ve ever had a crush? Oh, heck, seven years or so, I think.
-have you ever confessed your feelings to a crush? To the extent of saying "I like you" and it being clear what I meant, I guess so. Thing is, my feelings toward crushes actually tend to be more along the lines of "You're gorgeous please please throw me to the floor and beat me senseless right now in the middle of this, er, shopping centre", so just saying "I like you" is a bit misleading really. :)
-has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Maybe once. She thought it was stronger than a crush though. I don't know.
-do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Heh, yes. Incapable of keeping my own secrets.
-how do you feel about long-distance relationships? Eh. Five minutes' walk is long-distance.
-have you ever pined for someone when you’re not around them? Doing it as we speak.
-would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Oh god, I hadn't even...um...'involved', yes. I couldn't manage a relationship, I don't think - inevitably eventually I'd have to assume some responsibility for the child and I Could Not Do That.
-what would you do if you got pregnant / made her pregnant while in a relationship? You really don't want to know.
-would you get involved with someone if they were previously married? Yes, and have done so.
-how big of an issue is your mate’s morals, to your compatibility? Eh, people generally have more morals than I do - it's more of an issue for them than for me.
-how big of an issue is your political beliefs to your compatibility? Not at all unless they expect me to have them.
-how big of an issue is religion to your compatibility? I don't know. It's never come up.
-how big of an issue to you is your mate’s ethnicity? Well...from a general point of view, not at all, but there are some physical characteristics of other races that I just don't find attractive. I guess that wouldn't make it an issue, though.
-in a potential mate, how important is conversation to you? It's almost everything, if I'm going for a relationship. Almost, but not quite.
-in a potential mate, how important is intelligence to you? Fairly, I'm afraid.
-in a potential mate, how important is sense of humor to you? Crucial.
-in a potential mate, how important is understanding to you? They don't have to understand everything, but they have to be open to explanations and the like.
-in a potential mate, how important is forgiveness to you? Eh. My warped self-view makes this slightly unanswerable.
-what makes your heart flutter, and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? Good surprises, occasional looks, whispered words in public, the usual.
-what was your first kiss like? Awful.
-what parts of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Hands, arms, eyes, hair, back, tattoos.
-what’s the first thing you look at when you look at someone you’re attracted to? If it's someone I'm already attracted to, their arms or their face.
-how important is the looks of a mate’s face to you? There has to be something there I find attractive. ~shrug~ I'm shallow.
-how important is the looks of a mate’s body to you? Not particularly, as long as what they do with it is beautiful - the way they move and the like.
-when you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it, or the other? Almost always the other. I have a thing about kisses.
-when you are about to kiss someone for the first time, do you generally feel calm, or are you nervous? Terrified. What if I get it wrong?
-can you generally tell when the time is right for a first kiss to happen with your object of interest? It's never when they think it is, so I never get a chance to find out when it would have been.
-what’s your favorite places to be touched? My face, my back, my hands.
-what are your favorite places to touch? Back, back, back, back, back, back, arms, hands, hair. And back.
-what are your favorite places to be kissed? Hands, back, neck, face.
-what are your favorite places to kiss? Back, again. Other than that, whatever works, really.
-do you prefer long sensual kisses or shorter pecks? Whatever feels right with someone.
-have you ever kissed someone you longed for? ~laughs~ Yes.
-how did that make you feel? There was more than one person. And it wasn't always that amazing.
-have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Oh yes.
-were you single at the time? Sometimes, yes, sometimes not.
-what are your ticklish areas? Everything if you attack it the right way, or nothing, likewise.
-what are your turn-offs? If it's got to the point where I'm already attracted to someone, the only thing that will stop it is if they can't take charge. ~shrug~
-what do you most like about making out? I'm not that keen on it, actually. Well, what I define it as. I don't believe in my own attractiveness enough to be able to enjoy it without feeling guilty that the other person obviously can't be. Heh. :)
sex (there are a lot of action-specific questions I could ask, but I’ll save those for the purity tests) (oh, and remember, all this is optional)
-are you a virgin? No.
-if not, would you consider your first time to have been a good one? Absolutely.
-how old were you when you lost your virginity? 18.
-have you ever had sex with someone you loved? Indeed.
-have you ever turned down an offer for sex? Yes.
-if you are a virgin, how do you feel about sex? --
-if you are a virgin, (rock on!), what are your reasons to stay that way? --
-how much do you think sex changes a relationship? For me it would be a really big step to take with anyone, still, so it would probably change it a lot. Other people have wildly different attitudes towards it. ~shrug~
-has anyone ever walked in on you during love-making? Heh, no. The odd phonecall though. :)
-on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being highest) how would you rate your sexual attractiveness? 3.
-on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being highest) how would you rate your - *ahem* - kink factor? Heh. 9.
-how do you feel about casual sex? If I weren't so blasted scared of it, it would be something I'd feel quite good about. ~s~
-at what level of importance does sex factor into your relationships? I don't know.
-how important is it to talk frankly about sex? For me, very. It's a scary scary thing.
-would you stay with a lover if the love stopped, but the sex was still enjoyable? I don't think that could work for me, but if the love wasn't there but the D/s stuff was still happening and great, then I might well do.
-would you stay with a lover if the sex stopped / got boring, but there was still love? As long as we were both happy that way.
-do you believe in love? Yes.
-do you believe in love at first sight? No. Various things at first sight, but love only at first conversation.
-what would it take for you to love someone? Goodness knows what makes it happen.
-has someone ever told you they loved you? Yes.
-have you ever told someone you loved them and meant it? Yes. Lots.
-have you ever told someone you loved them and not meant it? Not for a very long time.
-do you believe it’s necessary to express your love in words, of is just the atmosphere and feelings enough? If nobody ever said it to me in words I'd never believe it. It probably depends though.
-are you a monogamous person, or do you believe in open-ended relationships? Naturally monogamous I think, but this is fun. :)
-do you believe love can end, or do you think it never goes away, and just changes, or what? Between people it can die; not sure about if it's never reciprocated though.
-have you ever been married? Indeed no.
-how do you feel about marriage? I don't understand anyone doing it except for practical reasons, but I don't disapprove of it or anything.
-if you’re currently not married, do you foresee yourself ever tying the knot? Seems unlikely. I don't want to, anyway.
-do you plan on having children some day? God no.
-Do you feel that Bill Clinton’s extramarital affairs were really the business of everyone else in the world? Eh, I don't care, really. I think his lying about it might have been, though. ~shrug~ Whatever.
-have you ever had your heart broken? Oh yes.
-have you ever been dumped? Yes.
-have you ever dumped someone? Yes.
-have you ever mutually broke up with someone? At the time I thought so, apparently I was misled.
-has a romantic companion ever made you cry? God yes.
-did you cry in their presence? Yes...
-did you cry with them? I have done.
-have you ever made a romantic companion cry? Possibly.
-have you ever had an emotional pain so bad it made you sick or physically hurt? Goodness yes.
-have you ever been unfaithful? if so, how did it make you feel? Yes, once, a very long time ago. I don't know how I felt about it.
-if so, did they find out? Yes.
-have you ever been cheated on? Technically, no.
-have you ever had to end a relationship due to life changes not related to romance? No.
-have you ever learned an important lesson as a result of a break up? Probably, but it hasn't got through yet.
-have you ever gotten back together with someone after breaking up? Yes.
-did it work? No.
-do you believe there’s hope for people after they get back together, or do you think the same problems that caused the initial break-up will resurface? Depends what the problems were and whether or not they were dealt with.
-have you ever broke up and remained friends afterward? Never seems to happen. Heh.
-have you ever broke up and became bitter enemies? I don't think 'enemies' is the word, no. 'Enemies' implies continued feeling of some kind from both sides.
-if so, did you ever make amends? --
-have you ever broken up and lost touch? By choice, yes.
-have you ever got back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yes.
-were you afraid to do so? Yes.
-do you ever check up on old flames (by asking mutual friends, for example), without actually contacting them? Heh, yes - I have to. ~s~
-If you’ve ever lost touch or went sour with someone who you loved, how did it make you feel? I don't have the words or the time to look for them.
-have you ever longed to get back together with someone? Oh my yes.
-although it surely depends on specific relationships, how long does it take before you're out looking for companionship again? Practically the same day, I think it has been. Break-ups tend to make me feel worth much less than I normally do, so I head out looking for whatever I can find.
Heh. Yesterday, walking towards the course (which - oh, yes - went perfectly fine...the James Marsters-a-like was fascinated by my badges ~grin~) I suddenly looked to my left and found myself passing 'Vince Court'. Please make it stop. Or make it not stop, ever.
I don't like today. ~curls up under duvet~ Make it go away.
I'm really sorry for the angst, kids. Bad morning, sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.