Incidentally, I don't suppose anyone would like to give me 205 quid for a pair of boots? They're gorgeous boots. And they fit. Thigh-high. Black PVC. Lace-up.
No, I thought not. My mum would, if they weren't boots that would show the whole world what a sick, perverted, revolting, disgusting, shameful, horrific person I was.
I've missed a few of her words out, but you get the idea.
I'm hurting so much.
Oh, I forgot. She went off on this tirade in the shop, in front of everyone.
Yay. Public humiliation, as well as everything else. Yay.