What would you put in *your* Room 101?
(I'm speaking from the point of view of the TV show, not the section in 1984 which is somewhat more serious and permanent. The idea, for those of you who've missed the excellent show, is that you choose the things you'd most like to see locked away forever, and briefly explain why. They can be serious things or entirely frivolous ones - the show has featured both Mrs. Thatcher and the left hand side of Julian Clary's face.)
1. British beach holidays.
Men with handkerchiefs on their heads. "Kiss me quick" hats. Screaming children. Pebbles that are impossible to sit on, walk on, etc, or sand that gets in everything, or in Weston, black mud that gets in/on everything, *and* sand, *and* pebbles. Rock. What the fuck is rock all about anyway? All of this is a Great British Tradition and should die a horrible death. I hate everything remotely connected to it.
I was going to add "and Rastafarianism", but I figured I'd probably get flamed for that. This rant is a very long one, so I'll spare you it and just say that the music is dire and I hate it.
Yes, it's entirely irrational, but if they weren't around, my life would be much happier, so there.
4. Beanie hats.
The kind that Craig David wears. Because they look bloody daft, and there's no excuse for looking bloody daft.
5. "Skaters" - as a trend, not as in 'people who are good on skaetboards'. I suppose.
Because they're everywhere you look, these baggy-trousered idiots with their skateboards and their terrible terrible music. Ick. Into Room 101 they go.
6. Pride And Prejudice. The book. Yes, and the TV series.
What a bunch of utterly dull, entirely unattractive, insipid characters. How this has become a classic of British literature I cannot possibly begin to understand. And Colin Firth is not attractive. And nor, for that matter, is Mr. Darcy. He's not even nasty enough to be attractive. No. Room 101 for the lot of them.
More if I think of them. The world got there first with Jeremy Beadle and Hale & Pace, otherwise they'd have been up there too.