DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,

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Well, that didn't last. ~s~

I'll go back to sleep sometime soon, though. I think my subconscious prodded me awake in order to make me come down and check my e-mail. Heh.

1) A friend posted something in which he talked about snow, and I wanted to post a comment telling him that I love him, just for the way he wrote that, but somehow I couldn't, so I'm saying it here instead.

2) I went and searched and found and looked. Bastards. Bastards. And you're both welcome here, as well - these doors lock, too.

3) Is there nothing I can find out about him that doesn't make him even more dangerously enchanting? It's getting to the point where I'd actually probably shoot everyone else in the world just so I had a chance with him...but, er, it probably wouldn't work. ~s~ But still. Meh.

4) Stop teasing me! It's becoming really quite impossible not to answer you the way I want to, but if I do, I know you'll run away, and so I'm being good as gold but it's slowly driving me up the wall.

5) You'd think every time I described it or explained it all to someone, it would seem more remote, less traumatic/dramatic, easier to deal with. It doesn't. Every time it becomes more astounding to look at, more incredible to me that I *ever* managed to deal with it. And I know when I go to leave this room I will walk over a carpet of blood to get to my stairs. I hate it.

6) I also hate that gig for not having let me in. There was someone there I really wanted to see. I won't get another chance to see them for a long time. They're lovely, and it's not fair.

7) Why does nobody understand my characters except asrana? ~sigh~

8) I want more. I want to be back with you, for a time your kitten-in-the-headlights, safe and not safe and secure and frightened and laughing and contrite and everything, because it is, it really is, everything. Just for the time it takes. And you said such sweet things. And you called me pretty, reaching to kiss your hand. And generally I turn compliments aside but times like that they sink soul-deep, and I'll never really lose how good it felt to hear that, right then, with you.

Anyway, enough Things. I suppose it's time to try and get some more sleep.


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