So I'm playing a computer game. It involves a map, and as I move the cursor over various areas of the map, the possible games I can play in each area show up. I choose a random built-up-looking place, the game name some Pirate Lagoon Platoon Fighting Cannon Action Pirate Pirate Lagoon type thing, and instead find myself transported - not through the machine, just I blink and I'm there - to a zoo. In the aquarium area.
I wander over to the nearest enclosure/open tank, which contains three or four beautiful (and very large) stingrays, their backs mottled like tortoiseshell. As I was admiring them, the one nearest the side raised up on its tail (really) and started bemoaning their fate, which as far as I remember was that they wanted to start bloody revolution but couldn't get out of this stupid tank.
So I offered to help them, and said "I have a small army of my own" and they started jumping up and down in the water saying "Really? Wow! We never thought of that! Let's go!" and the next thing I knew I was on a white horse riding through the zoo. With my army, which consisted of the above three or four stingrays, two dogs of indeterminate breed, and a giraffe.
All on horseback.
With whooping cries we rode through the zoo and out the gates into the forest beyond, where suddenly we heard whooping cries coming from somewhere else, and horns playing the traditional Hunting Fifth. So my revolutionary army of fury...hid in a bush. Until they'd gone past. (While I explained the concept of the Hunt to the stingrays.)
After that, we rode on (through the bush, not around it, for no conceivable reason) and at some point I lost the rest of my 'army', and my horse, and wound up climbing stealthily up a flight of stairs in my old school. With my walkman on. As I reached the top (and the door through which I would escape to the fresh air and outside world), I heard a clattering noise behind me, stopped my walkman and turned, to find our theatre technician George standing at the bottom of the stairs grinning and waving at me. We exchanged a few words, and then I woke up.
As I came downstairs, I thought "what a weird dream" and I walked into the dining room to tell mum and dad about it, but they didn't have time to listen because we had to leave for the airport. The drive there passed in seconds, as did the business of checking in and getting to the plane - the next thing I remember is settling into my seat and the plane taking off.
Now, I knew we were flying to Switzerland and I knew the flight should have lasted for an hour and a half, but I cannot have spent that long discussing religion with the Iraqi terrorist who was sitting beside me - he cheerfully introduced himself as an Iraqi terrorist when I sat down, and I think a conversation along the lines of "Ah. And will you be hijacking this plane?" "Not this one, no, today I visit my Aunt Josephine" ensued. Whatever, the plane landed much sooner than it should have and I was very confused by this (at some point something weird happened with an Indian woman and her child, but I can't remember it at all).
We got out and went to get our luggage - my grandmother had mysteriously appeared with us at some point, and she and I argued over what colour a bag that wasn't my mother's was - she asserted its greyness, I its blackness. She won, because she's my nan.
And then, when we'd all got our luggage, Dad seemed to be missing something from his case, so we waited. Around the carousel came an open packet of penne pasta, its contents spilled around it. Mum said "Oh, dear, are they not going to let you take it with you?" (Apparently my dad had brought fresh penne pasta on the flight with him.) He said "No, I don't think so," picked up one of the spilled pasta things and bit into it, as, for some reason, did I. While I was thinking "Hmm. Tastes good," Dad was turning to mum and saying "Well, of course, they are rather long."
"They *are* long, aren't they?" Mum replied.
"And of course," Dad continued, "over here, they're often used for taking drugs."
At which point I *really* woke up.
Better even than the emergency mustard bees, I think you'll find.
I would also like to point out that my seeing reddragdiva at the Dev last night was a life-changing event; that nothing in my life has given me such pleasure as coming in out of the rain, tired and bedraggled, and being warmed by his very presence. Truly, he is a prince among men, and my life was brighter for briefly inhabiting the aura of greatness he brings with him wherever he goes.