Cilla : Do you have *any* self-respect?
Me : No. And?
Cilla : ...oh. Well, er, well, you know I think it's pathetic that you let that take place?
Me : Yes. So do I.
Cilla : ...oh. ~long silence~ Never mind.
~smile~ Poor boy.
Yes, I know that *everyone* thinks it's pathetic that I let that take place. Yes, I think it's pathetic, too, but what was I going to do?
I didn't even know until afterwards, Cilla, I really didn't.
Nobody was kind enough to tell me, and I wasn't allowed to mind.
~curls up on sofa and cries~
At least the house staff are kind. I said I'd slept late; they took one look at me, said I couldn't go to class looking that unhappy - I'd upset the teachers - and said they'd put me off school for the morning.
Yet another week where I can't face the days so I spend them in bed staring blankly around me. It can't be good. I want to talk to someone. I want to cry on someone. But nobody here at school is going to understand, and nobody out there has the right combination of understanding and giving a toss, and...ah well. I will always, always be this lonely. It's probably a good idea for me to get used to it.
Yeah, I know it sounds like teenage angst. The saddest thing, though? I really, genuinely mean it. There is no melodrama involved. ~shrug~
Tragic, hmm? ~skips off~
E.
x
