It was already too much. Already the only way I could have dealt with it would be to simply slip into character. Already a total impossibility for me to cope as myself; my mind would, will, snap like a shatterproof ruler.
And now this.
What did I do?
Or what didn't I do? Or what did I say, or not say? And - why don't I know?
Christ. Even I know there's something wrong there.