DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,

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The Erasure song I'm listening to right now :

I'd like to be a child again
So many things to do
Playground noise and coloured toys
And everything brand new

I'd like to be a pirate ship
In search of hidden gold
On ocean waves I'd swim away
And sail around the world

Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend?

I'd like to be a soldier
A general I would be
In battle and in glory
Ten thousand men to me

I could be most anything
There is so much to see
I'd live a different story
If you were next to me

Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend?


Back when I had my old journal I was in a bit of a downward spiral (not a decadent one, sadly - end random VG reference) and I posted a *lot* of "I feel like killing myself, help me, tell me you love me, cheer me up, go on, please" type entries. I didn't like myself very much for it, but then, that sort of fuelled it. ~s~
Sometimes these days I still feel like that, but I try not to beg for sympathy (took down that LJ entry the other day - oh, and I'm not not *not* asking for it now, by the way. Just thinking aloud.)
I had a friend who described in detail their suicide attempt - in LJ. And we all listened and we all poured sympathy at them *as we had been doing for the previous month* - I suppose it really made no difference to them.
Oh, god, this isn't going anywhere. God, god, god I'm feeling *so fucking lonely*. Sorry. This did have a point originally, but it's got lost in a big whirlpool of self-pity. Heh. Sorry. Oh well - the lyrics are still relevant. I think?



I remembered my point! ~bounce~

Are the people who post "HELP I want to kill myself" entries *really* more popular, or do loads of people take time over them *because* they post those entries?

Gah. ~shoots self - but not in a "HELP I want to kill myself" way of course~

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