July 6th, 2009

(I've tried patience)

Why, what could she have done, being what she is?

So I guess I'm sort of maybe wanting to be called Troy now. Instead of Emily. Which I hate. Despite those of you who think it's a great name. You're welcome to it, seriously.

Um. There is a story, but I hate myself too much to explain it, and I don't expect anyone to take me seriously, and I know it's a stupid name, and I don't have a middle name or surname yet (because god knows I want to get rid of those, too), and it's. pointless, and stupid, and why I am even making a fuss I have no idea, and nobody has to do it or listen to me, ever, and it's fine, and I'm going to go away now. And stop signing my posts and comments, obviously, unless I forget, which I will, because I suck.

And because I don't think I deserve to have anything that feels right, or feels better, or feels comfortable, ever, ever. And. Please don't go to any effort or anything, it's just a thing, a stupid thing, and your efforts towards remembering changes would be much better put towards other more important people with other more important identity crises and oh my god, I actually want to bury myself alive now, yay.

I hate change; I am freaking out everywhere about this. Ugh. I'm sorry, guys. I'm not even sure what I'm sorry about! but I am really, really sorry, if it helps.

Edit : for clarity's sake, it's just a change of name, in the book I found the name in (all the way back when I was nine, and mad) Troy is very much a girl.