Damaris

if you stay up late enough, you sometimes find yourself watching TV shows that you swear are only on TV because you're tired enough that you're hallucinating them?

Last night I switched on BBC2 and found myself halfway through a short film in which a man finds a case full of IOUs and in trying to track down their origin, something he's obsessed by, finds himself being shot in the chest by Satan. That's Satan played by David Fucking Ginola. Of course.

Obviously after Satan shows up, it's even harder to work out what's going on, because every one of Satan's lines sounds like he's saying 'Baguette baguette baguette j'adore ABBA". But in fact he turns out to want rebranding because "Godd ges' all de good prrress, ah ges' norzing bot assel" (for anyone who thinks this is unfair mocking of the French accent, have you actually heard David Ginola speak? His voice is unfair mocking of the French accent.) so the guy he shot in the chest who was killed by being hit by a car in a scene we never originally saw that doesn't make any sense and doesn't realise it until he's shown it by a girl at a computer who appears to have no function whatsoever...takes his name 'Mr Lucifer' and after much deliberation (well, a minute) renames him 'Mr Firecul' (those of us with a scattered knowledge of French may laugh now). Then some policemen have an acid trip and David Ginola dances badly in front of some zombies.

The end.

Apparently it wasn't just some caffeine hallucination, but I bet everyone in it wishes it had been...

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Appearing in a media_babb near you later today, but so bizarre I had to share it now :

"Andrea cleared his throat looking at his empty glass. He looked over at the large bar, seeing kitchen staff wonder in and out of the door behind, all dressed in black, with white chef hats, smart, very smart, very, different, his eyes failed to stay averted, and he looked back at William, very unique, beautiful."

Every time I think 'you know, I see slash absolutely everywhere, it's shocking' I come across something like this and I don't seem nearly so bad.

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[post edited as BBC site is edited]

This is happening.

"Dummy explosions using detonators only have sparked the evacuation of three Tube stations and the closure of three lines, a BBC correspondent has said."

There's a certain amount of WTF? at this end of the internet. I'm all right, and presumably, so is everybody else, apart from the idiots responsible, who are, I guess, either extremely disappointed or laughing all the way round the corner until they run into a seriously unimpressed policeman.

"A route 26 bus in Hackney Road in Bethnal Green had its windows blown out by a blast. There were no injuries.

Police in London say they are not treating the incidents on the underground as "a major incident yet".

One person was injured at Warren Street, although the person's condition is unknown."

There are sirens outside my house again. Enough now, please. Thank you kindly.

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Going to make some tea because something prompted me to buy milk this morning. Absolute love to everyone. I hope you're all safe.

Ask me for "top five" lists of pretty much anything, and I will list you my top five of that thing or things.

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