October 7th, 2003

(I've tried patience)

Love in little letters.

So much for my perfect memory.
I'm trying to clear my inbox, since several thousand messages going back six years aren't doing a great deal for my computer, it would seem.
I remember a lot of it. In fact, I thought I was remembering all of it. Then I came across Collapse )

I've no idea who this person is. I mean it - I've literally no recollection of him at all. There are a few other messages from him in my inbox (I had a lot of other accounts at the time though) and none of them say anything helpful.
It scares me. I know I have a near-perfect memory; I also know that the places in which it is less than perfect are ones where you just don't *want* to remember.
But it scares me. I think I must have met him online. I wish I could remember. He writes about taking time off so I could visit him; about a week where he felt I was giving him the 'silent treatment' so he went and had a meaningless one night stand with some girl in Oxford.

I want to delete the e-mails but I can't quite bring myself to. Would he remember, now, who I am?

People are such strange creatures. How could I forget someone who seems to have meant that much to me? One of his e-mails ends with "Love (oh god, I said it)" and when I reread that I got the faintest of distant memories of reading it for the first time.

And now I've got a feeling the world is about to come crashing down around my ears (the whole day has felt a bit like that) so I'll leave this for now.

  • Current Mood
    cold cold
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

One of those "I can't do this any more" moments.
Well. I have a singing lesson to go to and then the course. Normal things with fairly normal people.
I hurt. I hurt so much. Today was cold and horrible.
Is this what I do to people, too?
I can fly!

(no subject)

Panic mostly over, just in case anyone was worrying, which they weren't. ~s~
My father seems to have left without so much as an angry note - this is a good thing.
I have music - this is a good thing.
I have an excuse to read an extract from Poppy Z Brite to an audience of dangerously normal people and freak them out. This is possibly not a good thing, but it's certainly an evil laugh one...

Anyway. Enough rambling. I could really do with getting some sleep tonight, so I shall endeavour to head in that direction shortly.

  • Current Music
    'Ultraviolet - Infrared', John Foxx. Best. Thing. Ever.