September 23rd, 2003

(I've tried patience)

My parents ruined my good evening, of course.

Spectacularly, this time, by mum telling me I'm the worst thing ever to happen to her (apparently beating miscarriages, abortions, marrying the most boring man in the world *and then* marrying my dad) and that she wishes I'd succeeded in topping myself when I tried or that [name] had managed to finish the job.

So I'm really very shaky and not terribly happy today. Not the greatest state to be in when going to talk to temping agencies, but that's what I have to do or I think my dad will finish the job my mum started last night, only he's not afraid to use a butcher's knife.

What I really want to do, of course, is take care of that this morning, watch them leave with a sense of enormous satisfaction, and then run away to Camden and beg for hugs. But if I do that he'll think I'm stalking him, where actually he's just the only person I know that I can *find* right now. I badly need some hugs and I've got the course tonight so I can't find anyone else later on. But I can't go out to him *again* because I did it yesterday. Argh.

God, I feel terrible. I didn't get to sleep until three; couldn't stop crying. Amazed I'm not still crying; maybe just too exhausted.

Help.

E.
x
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

You people are all lovely. Thank you. ~hugs to people who've done things to make me feel better today~
Especially thanks and sorry to adjectivemarcus; I didn't get back until now so I didn't see your comment. I'd have loved to meet up. Thank you so much.

~hugs people more~ Bah. Life. They leave in an hour or so! ~sigh~

I think I'm going to go and see Scott anyway. The hell if he thinks I'm stalking him, he can always tell me to go away.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    "Gordon is a moron..."
(I've tried patience)

"I've got the day off to install my dungeon."

I think people are going to be hard pressed to better that for a quote of the week. ~g~ Obviously someone out there is looking out for me; went to Camden, wandered around very nonchalantly, went into MVE, bought a *beautiful* Strawberry Switchblade clear flexidisc, came out, walked straight into Scott. Cue many apologies and much "I'm not stalking you honest" from me; well, I'm not, sort of. ~s~

Anyway, he didn't mind and hugged me lots and listened and was lovely. So that's good. And hey, I'm just some random kid, but there should be fun things on Saturday nonetheless. We'll see.

So I feel sort of better, although still kind of hollow. And now I must run away to a singing lesson. And then the course. Goodness, it's all go. ~falls asleep~

Oh, and. No, that's a DJ post really.
Oh, god, I don't know. ~pulls the duvet over her head~ I don't *want* to know.

E.
x

And I need to get over my fear of needles and I don't know how.
  • Current Music
    'Images Of Heaven', Peter Godwin