March 21st, 2003

(I've tried patience)

"Have I got the news quiz that was". And the evening that wasn't.

Went to watch The News Quiz being recorded, with missfairchild, who is, quite simply, utterly wonderful. Alas no Jeremy Hardy, but his replacement was Phill Jupitus, which more than made up for things in my book. It was funny. I laughed. So did everyone else.

Went out for one drink which turned into a few more which turned into meeting some other people for a couple more. I'll post about this at some point.

Got out to find a text message from dennyd saying I was too late to talk to him - five minutes after he sent it. Got home twenty minutes too late. It's not fair, and I wanted to talk to him, and I'm going to cry now. And the next bit's in italics because it's irrational - Those of you who would like to latch on to the fact that I mentioned dennyd's name in the context of unhappiness and gloat, feel free.

Food, then tears, then sleep. Tomorrow a lyric meme awaits me - wow, something like that to look forward to, my life rocks so hard, or, er, not.

Later : And tacohell has taken me off her Friends list; I've reciprocated as I'm usually fairly unable to read someone's posts without leaving comments and I imagine this indicates that she doesn't want any contact at the moment.
I respect it but it's such a shame, she's so lovely.
~sigh~
Nevertheless, I've been there myself, so...

Life is not pretty just at the moment. And there's a war on. And I cancelled my meeting with giolla and hell, what if it all ends in the middle of the night and I never got to be friends with him again?
Time to sleep, I think, these thoughts are hopeless and unfounded and, well, silly. And I'm so tired. And besides, it *is* the middle of the night and I'm still here.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Bandages', Hot Hot Heat (I think).
(I've tried patience)

Dreams again.

I can't actually do the lyrics survey as I'm just too unhappy at the moment and it all came out much too bitter and nasty. ~sigh~

Dreams last night were, erm, odd. Again.

The less odd one was the one where I could fly (again) and was visiting a HUGE antiques fair in a field somewhere with mhw, imago, ladymoonray, someone else called Katy who was really chokingly beautiful, and a bunch of other people I don't remember. ladymoonray bought a pair of wooden candlesticks taller than she is, while mhw found china penguins and looked at them for hours before deciding not to buy one.
~shrug~

The stranger one was some kind of conference on something utterly innocuous, which I ended up at with several members of the Londonpolybi crowd, and four persons from elsewhere in the country. I can't remember what the conference was on but it really was something harmless like local environmental concerns or cake-baking, but whatever it was, suddenly one of the official demonstrations required katyha and adjectivemarcus to go lie face down on raised tables in front of us and be whipped relatively mercilessly. ~baffled~
And after that it continued in a similar vein, with some *bizarre* BDSM-themed game of 'Stuck In The Mud' (people who never played that at school, you're fortunate).
It finished with dennyd screaming at me in a church pew for being upset with something grahamb (who was keeping score) had said. I was so indignant at being screamed at that I woke up. ~s~

Somewhere in the aforementioned game of Stuck In the Mud, one of the non-London people who in real, waking life I've recently been astounded to find is involved in BDSM (cue a chorus of the "But He's So Sweet And Fluffy" song) came over to where I was kneeling on a tiled floor. He had a long leather trenchcoat on and was carrying a whip (that looked much like this only prettier and newer) and just wandered over and said "Hello, you", to which my reply got as far as "Hi -" upon which he tilted my head up with the handle of the whip and said "Don't talk, now" as if I should have known not to.
Which I suppose perhaps I should.

I'm so glad I already had a crush on him, that would really have messed my head up if I hadn't. ~smile~

(Yes, wildeabandon, you can laugh. ~g~)

E.
x

PS While searching for pictures of whips via Google Images, I found this, it scared me. ~g~
  • Current Music
    'White And Alive (club mix)', XPQ-21.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

Hmm. I've got that predatory, I-want-you-and-I'm-damn-well-going-to-get-you feeling again. I'm sure it shouldn't be a good thing but it's ever so much fun. ~grin~

Worked last time, anyway. ~grins more~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Tomorrow', The Communards. Right, must get taping.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

I was feeling really good about myself until about half an hour ago.

And now I feel lower than something very low indeed.

I hate this.
(I've tried patience)

~smile~

As ever, duncanneko made me feel much better. Thank you. ~hugs neko~

Apologies to, well, people, especially the extraordinarily patient dennyd. I'm just fragile because it's March, and things. But yes, I feel better now, and I'm sorry for having *yet another* angst attack. One day they'll stop happening. One day.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'You Only Left Your Picture', Fashion.
(I've tried patience)

Antisocial butterfly

I'm thinking very seriously about leaving D&B early to go to the Electric Ballroom tonight. I figure if I've turned up at D&B and given my money and shown my support, it's not really required for me to suffer the music for a stupidly long time, and I *really* could do with a certain amount of bouncing, which I won't get. And robinbloke is at the Ballroom tonight. (Unfortunately, dennyd has walked off with my membership card ~s~)
It'll depend on how good or bad a time I'm having at D&B, but I'm very very tempted.

~sigh~ And I want to call dennyd again but I think bothering him three times in one day is a bit daft, really. Not even sure why I want to call; probably just for the phone equivalent of a hug and an "it's ok", but I'll just have to hope that it *is* ok and that I'll see him tomorrow.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Blush Response', Vangelis (Bladerunner soundtrack)