March 9th, 2003

(I've tried patience)

Yes, that *was* a mistake.

Bits of that were just not good. Wish dennyd had just stayed and we'd crashed out early and could have spent today together. Much thanks to the people who *did* have a good night for letting me tag along, but nevertheless, I wish I'd stayed at home. Once again, Slimelight and associated people and things remind me that there are worse things than being on my own.
Although I really don't want it to seem like I didn't enjoy the evening, because I did, there were just lots of things bringing me down. And I love all you guys very much and did enjoy being with you. I'm just kind of fragile. ~s~

Dancing was good though. Among other things, they played a song that's been making me squeak for a while and when I asked people what it was, they replied 'something by Nine Inch Nails' - again. I think I'm going to have to cave and confess that they're actually rather good, after all. ~s~
And just as we were leaving I was standing on the stairs listening to the music through the doors in the upstairs, music-as-a-physical-force room, and they played a fantastic song (which they played at EB but didn't sound quite as good so I hadn't danced) which I *think* I'm getting hold of now.

And The Other Ballroom Song which makes me fall apart is apparently 'Gorgeous' by Turbulent Soundscape. Many kisses to dennyd for finding it. (It amuses me that the two songs I so desperately wanted were respectively called 'Beautiful' and 'Gorgeous'...)

I've just realised that this was the first time I've been to the Ballroom when they didn't play 'Sex Dwarf' by Soft Cell, anything by Apoptygma Berzerk *or* 'Once In A Lifetime' by Wolfsheim. Most of you won't know why this strikes me so deeply, but it does. I'm just not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

Anyway, yeah. Big mistake in lots of ways, going there last night. Never mind. I'll have music.

E.
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  • Current Music
    Not sure it's right as Kazaa refuses to preview it...
I can fly!

Ah, heck, who am I kidding?

There's too much angst in my life. I'm sorry guys, last night was actually pretty good, I just dwell on things I shouldn't. ~s~ ~hugs people~ I'm sorry.

And this week I will try to do as little as possible, since I'm a)shattered and b)somewhat lacking in funds.
And then the week after there will be a Calling. With robinbloke in chainmail. What more, in fact, could anyone actually ask for?

Well, actually, I know what more I could ask for. I could ask to know which remix of 'Der Mussolini' it's likely they'd have played at the Ballroom and Slimelight. I don't suppose anyone can help?

E.
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  • Current Music
    One remix or other of 'Der Mussolini'.Just don't know which.
(I've tried patience)

Oh, dear....

...I seem to be alarming people again. When will the rest of the world get over the fact that I compliment people when I think they deserve it? Or that I'm happy for people over the littlest good things?

~sigh~

Well, I shall be going to bed now, horribly embarrassed; one of my least favourite states to be in, but never mind. ~meeps~

For. The. Record.
I did enjoy myself last night.
I just got upset about one or two things.
I love you all and don't want you to think I'm being in any way ungrateful or churlish.

I know I sounded miserable when I posted earlier, but I was lonely, shattered, and hate waking up and realising that someone's seen me while I was sleeping, which certainly happened today. Please, please, please, please, I am so grateful for being able to spend time with you and I did enjoy myself and please don't think I'm a happiness killer and never let me spend time with you again please don't do that please

~cries~

~exasperatedupsetmeepingexhaustedembarrassedkittencollapse~

E.
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