December 14th, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Silence is...some appropriate goth colour that really isn't golden. ~nod~

I thought I'd have something to say. I thought I'd write pages when I woke up this morning. But instead I find myself speechless. On that subject, anyway. Partly out of not wanting to jinx anything by talking about it; partly out of simply being struck wordless by the beauty of it all. Hmm. ~smile~

So I shall smile and bounce and hug fluffymark and emarkienna for giving me Christmas presents, instead. ~s~ Because, pretty! And also, new eyeliner! I really have to decide if I plan to use it myself or just attack pretty men with it; the latter somehow seems more appropriate. ~g~

And I shall hug nisaba just for being, because she's lovely and I adore her. ~nod~

And I have to go to work fairly soon, but. Slimelight tonight, which should hopefully be better than last time (not difficult).

Amused now.

Anyway...

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Something by David Essex, I'm afraid.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

Oy, forget I said anything. ~shakes head~ Sometimes life is just mainfestly unfair.

Someone throws a sweet at me and I bounce and am really pleased, not noticing the lifetime supply of chocolate that everyone else in the world has just been given.

...no, I'm being silly. It's just. You get to see him. And I might not. And it's not fair.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Ad Mortem Festinamus', QNTAL.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

Worse and worse. I woke feeling wonderful (actually I woke in character feeling awful, but as soon as I got back to myself I was fine ~s~) and now I'm going to work feeling like the world's best failure. Never there in time. Never the one they want. Don't know what I'm doing. This is just silly. ~sigh~

Please be at Slimelight tonight, I think it's the only thing that could possibly cheer me up.

~sigh~ Nobody's fault but my own.

You know what? I give up. Today, I give up, I really do. This past hour was such a *perfect* demonstration of the massive irony that overlays my entire life that I really can't be bothered any more. I give up. You don't need me anyway.

E.
x
I can fly!

(no subject)

Gods, I don't half complain too much. ~shakes head~ I'm sorry. Work today was genuinely uplifting. Please forgive me my adolescent whining; in truth life is a fairly good place at the moment, and I should just shut up and smile. ~s~

Later : Eeep! There may be a sudden and unexpected dennyd, as well!
...damn, that means I have to make an effort tonight...~g~

Even later : And again. Life really is trying very hard to thwack out any glimmers of happiness for me, isn't it? I am not impressed. ~sigh~ I don't really have the energy to fight back, though for once I want to. It all seems too inevitable.
I'm hanging on to the good things. Just. But I'm so tired of it all.

Later still : Oh, but that might be good news. ~sigh~ Up, and down, and up, and down, and up...

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Hello Spaceboy', David Bowie (+ Pet Shop Boys)