December 1st, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Hate.

Hate parents. Hate the way they can't understand internet things and expect me to explain them at the speed a Galapagos Tortoise could cope with, but when I can't understand a tax form they behave as though I've just won World's Most Retarded Child 2002. Hate being their spare part, the daughter that gets wheeled on for novelty value in concerts, the one that people congratulate because they've just said something nice to mum and realised I was there and feel guilty. Hate people saying to me how lucky I am to have my parents. Hate people telling me I must be so proud.

Hate men. Hate how they don't realise that they're hurting you. Hate how when they realise they don't think it's anything like their fault. Hate their incompetence, their tendency to fuck up completely and refuse to apologise and just say "well, that's the way it goes" - it's not the way it would go if you didn't fuck up so often *dear*. Hate always always being second best to them. Hate them running scared from "I love you" even when I only mean it as part of friendship. Hate the way they can flirt and not mean anything by it. I can't do that. I just can't.

Hated men before I read my friends page, too. Tanya, you *fucking idiot*.
Oh well, as long as you're happy.
Bastard.

Hate alcohol. Hate the things it makes people say, the e-mails it makes people send, hate having to sit and work out how much of what was said was genuine, how much I have to worry about. Hate it making people depressed; hate people thinking it's the answer to depression. Hate that people when drunk think I 'ought to know' things I manifestly would rather not know. Hate knowing that without alcohol there are people who wouldn't say more than two words to me.

Having said all of which, I'm now off to make some tapes.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    "Petrified", from the Taboo soundtrack.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

Bored now. Want to go back to London.

Also, Siouxsie And The Banshees' 'Kiss Them For Me' is really gorgeous. Thank you, excelsis...I love you.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    The above (or below, depending on your journal style)
(I've tried patience)

So here it is...

...December, of course, not actual Christmas, but nevertheless. I'd like to ask a couple of favours, if I may?

One : Please can I have postal addresses from as many of you as are willing to give me them? I refuse to send electronic christmas cards if there's any possible way round it. Yes, I know some of you have given me your addresses before, but just assume I've forgotten them.
If you know there's someone who I know but who doesn't have my journal on their default view, ask them for me, too. ~s~ Please?

Two : If anyone actually knows what they want for Christmas, could they give me some sort of vague idea? ~s~
Hint : if you don't actually have anything in mind, then writing to me telling me what sort of music you like and what you really can't stand is probably a Good Plan. ~blows kisses~

Thank you. xxx

E.
x
  • Current Music
    "Stranger In This World" from the Taboo soundtrack.