I'm home again, now.
My train journey back was punctuated by the joyous company of what could easily have been the three most annoying kids out of American Pie. Apologies to my friends from across the waters, but it really takes America to produce this special kind of moron.
They were singing a song. I lost count after 14 verses - they were making it up as they went along anyway. It had - gasp! - rude words in every line...gosh aren't they clever...some of them even rhymed! Wow. I can tell you, I would have laid down my copy of Keats to listen.
And in between each verse they stopped and sniggered exactly - but exactly - like Beavis & Butthead.
When they finished the song they moved on to talking about an acquaintance of theirs. I wish I was making this up, but I'm really not - and I quote :
"Yeah, the doctors say he's got diabetes or something, he has to stick a needle in himself every day for the rest of his whole life..."
"Man, that's funny. Do you remember when he just fell over in the middle of class? Dude. I laughed so hard I pulled a stomach muscle."
"I thought he'd died. It was so funny."
"Yeah. No, he didn't die."
"Hehhehheh. I guess."
Why aren't we allowed to kill them, mummy?
Extraordinary. I could almost believe you truly wanted to see me. ~shakes head~
I don't, of course. It would make no sense. I cry, I whine, I cling, and I care too much for you.
So I don't actually believe it.
But I almost could.