November 27th, 2002

(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

Calling was...well, mixed, which I believe I've mentioned is happening to me often at the moment. ~s~
I did dance, though not much as most of the things being played were things I really didn't like...dancing with nisaba and Vince is always a delight though. nisaba was very lovely all evening. ~hugs~
I needed it, as last night giolla was there...it wasn't as bad as it could have been, though; in fact the most angst of the evening was about someone else entirely, so there you go.
Lovely to be there with excelsis and to chat to mrph and davefish, both of whom were also being lovely at me...saw an emarkienna, too, but I was much too shy to say more than a few words. Heigh ho.

Oh, the angst. Right, well I'm off to read Sandman books, in the hope that I'll forget the things that hurt, just for a while.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Do You Love Me?', Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

I know I do this often but it still always strikes me as bizarre - how can I possibly care so much for people I barely know? Last night there were people there I would walk miles through the snow to get to, who actually genuinely Do Not Know My Name. Any idea how daft that is? Oy.
I mean, of course it's that they're great, but...it still doesn't make a lot of sense, y'know?

E.
x

You reached out and touched me and said I was too far away.
Perhaps I was, but only because you wouldn't want me as close as I'd want to get.
I've had this conversation before. But then everything repeats, doesn't it?
  • Current Music
    The same.
(I've tried patience)

~sigh~

A scene from 'The Kindly Ones', boox IX in the Sandman series.

Nuala : I am truly, truly sorry...
Dream : Please, Nuala. No more apologies.
Nuala : Yes. Of course. Sorry. ... Um. Sorry I said "sorry", I mean. Sorry.

Dream : Before I take my farewell of you, Nuala, there is one thing left for me to do, is there not?
Nuala : Is there?
Dream : I still owe you a boon, lady.
Nuala : Well...

Dream : Did you have a particular boon in mind? When you summoned me here?
Nuala : I wanted you to stay, I... ... I wanted you to love me.

Dream : And do you think that love is a gift? Like a bauble, or a trinket? Something I can reach into a pouch and present to you?
Nuala : I gave all my love to you. Years ago.
Dream : Did you? I did not realize... ... On reflection, while I cannot give you the thing itself, I could give you a dream of my love.

Nuala : I already have that, my lord. ... Please go.


I find it very hard to believe how much this echoes what happened to me. I know that's what makes the Sandman books so powerful and enchanting, but. I can't help thinking that maybe there was some truth in what someone said to me once, that I only fell in love with the man because there was so much of Dream in him, and in the end it was the Dream-like aspects of him that drove me away.

Sorry to clutter. I probably won't be back again today though.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Nothing right now.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

excelsis has been really very wonderful to me today, so I'd just like to thank him. ~smile~

Sort of looking forward to the film night tonight.
Why, oh why, wasn't I born with patience? ~g~
Anyway. Things are looking slightly better than they were this morning...

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Knives', Manuskript.