November 22nd, 2002

(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

~smile~
I've really got to stop doing this.
But maybe not just yet.

It's late, I'm tired. I have to sleep now.
But I'm going to sleep happier than I woke up, which is all anyone can really ask for.

Thank you. You know who you are.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    that's "touched", not "loved", so don't panic, kids
(I've tried patience)

....WTF?

My mum, who's generally lovely and unprejudiced (except about you lot, of course), has just got back from the local corner shop/supermarket. She was putting the shopping away and I heard her say

"One of the men in there asked me where I worked. Extraordinary." Pause. "I bet they're all from Iraq. They look like terrorists."

~blinks~ Who is she, and what has she done with my mother? Bizarre.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'What A Beautiful Day', The Levellers.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

Oh, yes, and for anyone who knew where it was, my DeadJournal is back. (Please, the people who were so upset about it before - if there's anything left visible that still makes you angry, just tell me where it is and I'll get rid of it.)

It was deleted for ages and now looking at the last few entries, I can't even remember who or what they were about. I think I'll have to start annotating them somehow so I don't forget...~s~

I need it again, there are too many people in my life who are too important to me, and there's too much I want to say to them that I'm just not allowed to. So hey.

Later : I wish I knew another word for this, other than "love". That's a word that makes people nervous, though it shouldn't, and it's also a little bit...well, serious, for what I feel at times like this. This is just wanting to run out and hug the nearest random stranger until they squeak simply because someone you like is so utterly, utterly great. But I think I'm stuck at saying I "love" them, because I don't think there's anything else.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Irritatingly enough, the theme tune from 'Quincy'. Grr.
(I've tried patience)

~kicks brain~

Either
a) I'm so frightened about working tonight that I can't type any more,
or
b) You're so damn great that I can't type any more,
but either way I have been making really *absurdly* awful typing mistakes all day and I don't like it. Damn it.

I'm tired and cold and terrified about tonight. I wish I could concentrate. Eeek.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Cuts You Up', Peter Murphy.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

Well, that could have been worse. At least I appear to have some kind of job. And I didn't mess it up.
So hey.

Got home - eventually - to a kind text message I'd on the whole rather not have had, an e-mail it's impossible to reply to which therefore breaks the only line that was holding me to happiness, and an LJ post that suggests that the guy I'm almost but not quite in love with is more similar to the guy I was/am in love with than I thought, in a really quite bad way. None of this was cheering.

It was a good e-mail conversation, I'm sorry it's over. I think I'm going to go and cry now. It was all that mattered over the last two days. Everything would have been pure hell otherwise. Now the words have stopped and the silence opens the door to let the hell in.
Don't mind this post, I'm just tired and emotional. ~sigh~ Really.

It's late, so I can say I love you. I do. I've mentioned this before. But it's nothing to be alarmed about.

I hurt.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Only silence seems appropriate.