November 6th, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Things.

Back home now. ~smile~ Was a good night & day - very.
I'm always oddly noncommittal about these things. ~checks journal~ Yep...seems I'm not the only one. I'll save the tears for tomorrow though. ~shrug~

I'm tired, which isn't terribly surprising.

In a really cunning move to try to save some of my sanity, I'm attempting Not Reading Whitby Write-Ups. I hope people will be nice and send me links to galleries once they start going up, though.

More tired than I realised, it seems. Also more upset. I just don't understand people. And I don't understand how things that seem to mean a lot can mean nothing - why would they seem to mean so much in the first place? But who cares, it's happened before, just this seems to be the fortnight for it. (Will I see all those concerned at The Calling in a week? Why yes, I believe I will. Should be fun. Heh.)
Cynicism central over here. Thankyou for having me I had a very nice time hope you had a nice time aswell love from

E.
x

And yes, before someone says "It's probably just a question of the way some people use words or gestures", I am aware that it's just a question of the way some people use words or gestures. I'm still upset. Go figure.
  • Current Music
    'Join Me', HIM.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

~reads friends page~
I believe my reaction is what is known in fiction as "a low whistle". But it sounds stupid to type that. ~g~

Nevertheless. neverknewyoucouldlooklikethat Ahem.
Two of my Cambridge friends are so fucking lucky. (Actually many of them are, but I'm thinking about two in particular right now.)

And whatever the heck I was going to post about has gone completely out of my head.

Surprising, isn't it? ohmygodso_pretty_ Ah well.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Magnum theme. Actually. Er. Doesn't quite go.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

And it's pouring with rain outside and I have Whitby photos to look through (thank you gothtart!), so things could, I suppose, be worse.

There was a running commentary, but it's gone because, well, a) nobody cares, not even me and b) there just wasn't enough to say. ~waits for pictures *not* takes by people with fluorescent hair~ ~s~

Oh look...I'm all unhappy again. Who's surprised? No, me neither.

Anyway....

E.
x
  • Current Music
    The same.
I can fly!

Reasons why I am an idiot, #26954.37

I want to say "How can you possibly think I would find that funny? Ohforheaven'ssake."
And then I realise that when you mentioned the idea I laughed, because I wanted to laugh at something that you thought was funny, because I wanted you to think we had a lot in common. I really, honestly did.

Does everyone do this, or is it just me? And you know what? It's even stupider, because we do have a lot in common.

So the "ohforheaven'ssake" is directed at me this time. Because apparently I never think what I'm doing is enough even when things are really good - obviously they could be better and I need to invent things so that they are. Oh, for heaven's sake.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Silver Screen/Shower Scene (Malibu Mix)', Felix Da Housecat
I can fly!

Grrr.

Had to leave dinner with my mum and a lovely friend of hers, because when she told me about the restaurant over the phone and asked if it was ok, she neglected to mention that it was vegetarian only. ~sigh~ I have nothing against vegetables whatsoever, but with meat, please, if it's not too much trouble, which it obviously was.
I'm upset about this 'cause it embarrassed me and I'm not sure if mum only let me leave because she's going to scream at me when she gets back.

Also I'm really starting to get uptight about Friday now (to say nothing of the next Calling, but hey) - for various reasons but (you're not reading this, are you? Good) I know I shouldn't have missed someone as much as I have and it's so not good. (I'm really glad you weren't reading that.)

Meh.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Craig David vs. Bagpuss. MICE! ~hugs mice~
(I've tried patience)

This entry is not here. It should never have been written. Please ignore it.

That's good to know, I'll remember that, then. Next time I'm about to talk to you honestly about the way I feel. Really good to know before I did that again, 'cause it could be much worse next time, except now it won't 'cause I just won't tell you. That sorts that out. Joy.

The hell with Friday, I'm sure everyone will enjoy it better if I'm not there anyway.

~s~ I know. Blah blah angst blah. But hey. My journal. So.

E.
x

Yes, I do it, too. But excuse me if I'm peculiarly touchy about things to do with you just at the minute.
(I've tried patience)

~weary smile~

I think I may have sorted most things out - or they've sorted themselves out, I don't know. I'm very tired.
Why do I always manage to upset the ones I care about the most? Well, clearly it's because I'm a bloody idiot, but still.
like a stilled bullet you hang in my heart, forever caught in the act of shattering it

~hugs~ and love to fluffymark; be well, sweetheart.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Mice again.