August 19th, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Well now.

Today, I head off to Ardingly to sing for some woman in the hopes that she'll agree to be my singing teacher for the next year/lifetime. Wish me luck. ~s~

Last night I had bizarre dreams - no unusual occurrence for me, but nevertheless, they alarmed me. ~shakes head~ One day I must meet this guy who seems to take such delight in wandering into my dreams and turning them all into a warped horror film 1950s fair funhouse. ~shudder~
Anyway.

This morning I know that I made the right decision, so cue more tears. ~sigh~ I wish it wasn't all so blasted painful.

This morning apparently I'm her or him. My compter's acting up and won't let me post the pictures. ~s~
Cats! Yay! And there were no two cats in the test that I'd rather have been, either.

And this morning I have more love for some people than I know what to do with, so, blu_dragonfly, asrana, nisaba, meirion, nevla, if you don't want it I'm sure you can find someone to pass it along to. ~smile~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Electricity', Apoptygma Berzerk.
(I've tried patience)

This is shaping up to be a bloody awful day. Hurrah!

~sigh~ Some days I really hate LiveJournal.

Well, I'm going now, so you can all throw confetti in my absence, and when I come back and ask what all this confetti's doing all over everything, you can walk off laughing.

Depression makes for very bad singing. Darn.

~sigh~ Whatever.

Your lyrics today are here, both because of how I feel (could equally and more appropriately have used 'A Different Corner' again but it's getting old, I think) and in honour of the only person I've ever met who's never upset me or done anything but made me feel special.
"Learn, guys."

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Tonight Tonight', The Smashing Pumpkins.
(I've tried patience)

~shrug~

Yep, another day spent being my mum's optional extra, made to feel like an afterthought, an aberration. I do so love it, you know.

I'm angry and upset, and there's so little that could currently clear away the black skies above my head.

Sigh.

If anyone feels like calling tonight - which they won't - I'd love to hear from you, unless you're likely to give me a run-down on how wonderful BiCon was, which will very likely make me feel worse. Just warning you. ~s~ Obviously I'm thrilled that it went so well for everyone, though, and I love you all.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Purple Electric Violin Concerto.
(I've tried patience)

(no subject)

Mum just took away the hugest spider from outside my room. Ick. Ick, ick, ick. God, I hate spiders. Ick. ~shudder~

~sigh~
I feel physically sick with unhappiness and loneliness.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    The same.
I can fly!

~sigh~ Oh.

I need one of my old icons back - the one of Jack, desolate when Brian abandons him in a dressing room, with the caption "They all leave in the end..." underneath it.

I'm too tired to break things. ~sigh~ The world is a stupid place and its countries are too far apart.
I actually did shout "No!" to the heavens just then. That's alarming, and sad, and I'm going to bed.
Thank you aegidian and asrana for calling me, I love you both.

~looks at self~ Shouting "No!" to the heavens?
I scare me.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    "It's about time that this world goes up in flames!"