May 22nd, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Looks like...

...I'll be waiting all week. But, well, I can live with that.
Although if it's three weeks like usual, I might get a little nervy. ~smile~

Morning, all.
And my characters are teasing me. Bah.

~curls up in inbox~ ~falls asleep~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Join Me', HIM. Really must find a copy of that.
(I've tried patience)

~tentative bounce~

London's starting to look like a good thing again...
Friday, giolla. Saturday, wildeabandon. (And Micko Westmoreland! ~squeaks~) Sunday, fluffymark.
Yay!

I haven't quite remembered yet how to look forward to things, but it may improve slowly over the next couple of days. I hope.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'I'm In Love With A German Film Star', The Passions.
I can fly!

Was that particular god not listening yesterday?

I mean it, you know. I can kick immortal arse just as well as Duncan MacLeod. If you carry on making bad things happen to good people, I really will come and do something impressive and messy about it.

I'm the one that's supposed to hurt. Not my friends. If you've got something nasty in mind, throw it at me.

~blaze~

E.
x

But...~smile~ There's one thing to be happy about this for.
There's love there, and I can feel it, and that's *good*.
Yay. ~happysigh~
  • Current Music
    The same.
(I've tried patience)

Oh, *you*...~grin~

*Please* stop being so wretchedly cute?
~rolls eyes~

Damn adorable people ruining my bad day...~laughs~

Later : Awww...there's just nothing like a hopeless drunken goth...~amused~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Nightlife', John Foxx.
(I've tried patience)

~smile~

Friday good. Friday *good*. Come on, Friday. Be sooner. ~attempts to lasso Friday and drag it closer~

This weekend is going to be fabulous, isn't it?

I just found something I didn't know existed, and reading back I can watch myself falling further and further in love. It's kind of interesting.

~stretches~ ~curls up in inbox again~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Kiss The Future', The Human League.
Music

~raised eyebrows~

Oh, *dear*.

~amused~

~blinks~ Someone just screamed, very loudly, downstairs. I hope everything's ok.
[whine] I want email...[/whine]
Back to class this afternoon. Would anybody like to give me something to write during English?

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Click/Clash', The Holograms/The Misfits. No, really.
I can fly!

Or not...

...since class doesn't seem to be happening.
But other Really Bad Things apparently are, and I'm not being told, and that makes me panic.

Sigh.
I wish it wasn't always true that I care about everyone five times more fucking much than they're ever going to care about me.

~shrug~ But it is. So. Hey.
I really am used to this one. Just sometimes I wish I didn't have to be.
But I'm fine. ~smile~ And more worried about everyone else than about myself.
Blah, blah, angst, blah, sorry, blah.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Blurry', Puddle Of Mudd.
(I've tried patience)

Sometimes I feel like nobody cares...

...other days, I know it for sure. ~smile~

I know, I know. It's just one of those days, yes.
But I have too many of those days.
And I've lost my scissors.

No more angst from me today, I promise. And look, all the previous angst from today has gone! Just like that.
You'll notice (possibly) that I've used an icon that means I'm ok really. So you're absolved from giving reassurances that you don't mean. Isn't that neat?
Or even ones you might mean! I wouldn't want anybody to feel they had to say anything at all.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Blurry', Puddle Of Mudd. Again.
I can fly!

~sigh~

Times you wish you could beat god with a big sharp stick, #41125.

It's not angst! It's *not*! It's just a pissed-off kitten with a big sharp stick.
~waves big sharp stick~ See? Now bring on god!

~hisses~

E.
x

And in other news :
I hurt so much because I care so much. But I care so much because I don't want people to hurt like I do. And just because of who I am. So perhaps I should stop being who I am? I keep being told that's a bad idea, but the person that I am hurts so much all the time because she cares for so many people, and there's no slight degree of reciprocation, ever, and it's like shouting into a big dark space and hearing not a single echo. So why shouldn't it be a good thing to stop being who I am? Maybe who I became would hurt less...~chases tail~
  • Current Music
    Still.
(I've tried patience)

~shudder~

I just had one of Those Roedean Conversations.
The ones where a group of frustrated young women discuss the varying attractiveness of the male teachers in the school.
I'm so very, very traumatised.
Anyone who's ever been unwillingly involved in one of Those Conversations will know just how scary they can get.
This one did.
I will never be able to look at Mr. Castleden again.

E.
x

sleepyscarednervouspanickydepressedangstybouncycuriousfrightened...
Oh, but she does strange things to my head...
  • Current Music
    It won't stop. But then, I rather like this song.