Angst last night led to a 'sleep' full of horrific nightmares - in sleep I get what I deserve.
I don't know what to do today. I feel like my heart stopped beating last night. Anyone got any jump-leads?
And, oh. Guilt. Oh. I'm sorry, you.
Christ...I'm so frightened.
Gasping, curl-up-in-a-ball-so-you-don't-hurt-yourself frightened.
I don't know what to do.
...you lot have fewer entries to sift through. ~s~
Wednesday. Business as usual. Things are not okay. In a short while I've got to go and rehearse things with my mum and our absurd and awful director of music. Somehow I've got to put on bright & cheerful for mum. I'm getting better at it though...here's hoping she doesn't notice anything.
Insert lyrics to bad Oleta Adams song that I hate here.
I spent the morning in bed. I couldn't get up. I hate that. Motivation isn't something that happens to me anyway, but getting up and doing stuff that I actually *want* to do normally is. Although when I got up at midday and came downstairs to attempt to do something productive like watch TV, I was reminded why I hadn't - it was either non-stop J-Lo, or 'Blurry' by Puddle Of Mudd. Which had me in floods again in seconds. Gah.
Well, I can't hang around here all day. I have to go and find a voice.
And remember not to use it to tell anyone I'm falling for them.
I would like to hurt less, please. ~sigh~
And if anyone else says anything like "Oooh, your mother's coming to sing in Friday? Wow...you must be so proud of her...she's a Dame, right? Wow..." I shall smash their head into the nearest computer screen.
She's my mother. I love her because she's my mother.
Bah. Blasted sweet people, ruining my misery. ~grin~
Very occasionally, the people at school are actually rather lovely.
It's weird when the people in question are Gemma & co, though.
You know, thinking about this, I probably should warn *you* lot that you all ought to be careful being kind to me. It's a really good way to get me liking you more than you want.
This has been a public service announcement. Thank you.
There was a post here. Now there isn't. This post has gone on holiday.
It might come back. With a tan.
Tasha : Look, I have soup in my hair. I'm not the one to be giving you love advice.
I love my friends.
Sonia just lent me the No Doubt album, as having heard 'Hella Good' and deeming it at least as good as 'Hey Baby', I figured the album was worth checking out.
It is. They've done the only thing that could have made me like them. They've hooked up to synths. I like. I like. It's all sparkly! And it's music to pose to! *YAY*!
There's the odd dodgy reggae-influenced bit - and if you know me you'll know that reggae is total anathema to me - but it's mainly just down-and-dirty electronic pop.
Also. I am loved. I really, really am.