Sometime last night - tonight - whatever - There Was a text message conversation, which I *think* was supposed to make me feel better, so I'm trying.
It's so very very long until Tuesday, though. ~sigh~
And I'm desperately in need of a drink.
And I woke up as Steve Jansen, having just had what was about to be a dreadful nightmare, and turned to Cilla, who had woken me, and said "I keep having so many dreams." To which he replied, "You know what I think? I think the Sandman's seen you and fallen in love with you."
I thought that was sweet.
Anyway. Drink. Yes.
Why does everything have to remind me of time I've spent with him?
So the TV plays Siouxsie, and Soft Cell, and The Who, and eventually it begins to get a bit silly and I begin to get a bit tearful so I come in here to read fanfic.
Damn fanfic authors and their obsession with belonging. If I read one more piece where Viggo calls Orli "Mine" I am going to cry again, and I don't want that.
Should go upstairs and sleep, really...but it's six in the morning and so it seems a little futile. Besides, if I stay awake now I can be really tired later and sleep some of the day away.
The world is out to get me. ~pouts at world~
I'm too tired to be anything other than vaguely sulky and marginally lighthearted about it though. ~s~
I went back to sleep. Bad plan. Now I need more sleep. Parent coming to pick me up soon. Not that soon. But soon enough. Sent out an apologetic text message when I realised that I can't actually remember what I *said* last night.
Something tells me this weekend is going to be about as good as the one two weeks ago, only without the one good point.
...how much I hated him, how much I was always angry at him for how much he fucked up everyone around him.
It hasn't gone away, it was just sleeping.
I used to want to break his silly, pretty little head open.
Pathetic, insensitive user.
OK. Fanfic is good. All fanfic is good. But - Orli/Chester Bennington? That's just...odd.
It feels good to be home. I'm not sure why.
And oh, Vered, I've missed you so much. ~sigh~
I'm going to spend the whole day reading fanfic, playing Angband and/or sleeping, because I've nothing else to do. But that's ok with me.
Hurrah for LJ!
I just found The Interesting Man From The Odd People's Whitby Photos Last Week That I Never Mentioned!
Um. He pretty. He pretty. In an odd way.
Ash, I think you may have competition in my head.
And he's going out with...oh. ~happysigh~ That's just right.
When you miss someone, do you ever get that just-been-kicked-in-the-chest feeling when you see something or hear something that reminds you of them? Or is it just me?
Anyway, I'm going to sleep, try and kick this migraine. Night.