April 16th, 2002

I can fly!

Morning all.

Today I will be mostly :
* frightening myself
* being frightened of people
* avoiding revising Ovid
* missing giolla and wildeabandon
* wishing I were someone else
* worrying about Kate, Tanya, Roger, and Elton.
* worrying about myself, for once.
* doing absolutely nothing around the house and being bored out of my mind.

Rah.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Higher State Of Consciousness', Josh Wink. Argh.
I can fly!

Hmm.

Time for another load of self-analysis of the "What's wrong with me, why does this interest me?" variety. I just hate that. I spend enough time worrying about what other people think of me, without starting to worry what I think of me as well.

I wonder why it's so easy for me to accept other people's quirks and kinks but half the time I won't allow myself my own...

Mind you, it's all got a bit odd recently.
But it could be worse...~shudder~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Everywhere', Michelle Branch.
(I've tried patience)

Wondering... (warning - introspective ramble)

...what stopped this being the most wonderful thing ever to happen to me.
Wondering if I was just shock-scared very unexpectedly.
If it was unexpectedly at all.
Sometimes you hope for things but still don't expect them, don't you?
Sometimes you wish people would ask, first, too, although that would just have been absurd.
Wondering how someone you really cannot *stand* can be so great. How someone you think is so fantastic can be so awful.
Same person, sometimes.
Wondering why I feel protective of people who obviously need no protecting at all.
Wondering why people feel protective of me.
Wondering at my feelings towards someone veering from resentment to guilt to resentment again, and wondering what to do about it.

Told you I'd be doing nothing productive today...

E.
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  • Current Music
    The same.
I can fly!

My my...

...pretty interesting-looking talking horses they seem to have at Whitby...~grin~

No really, it does make sense.
Honest.

*God* I'm bored.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Native Son', Oysterband.
(I've tried patience)

Rah, rah, and rah again, I say.

My dad is great. I talked to him this evening about the whole cutting issue, and...I impressed him lots, so, go me. ~g~ He said he was surprised and glad I'd thought it all through, and though he had one or two perfectly reasonable objections that I understand and respect, he's basically said I'm my own person and can do what I want so long as it is what *I* want - he knows I don't get pressurised into things, ever - and I understand the potential consequences.
Go my dad. ~happy smile~ And go him also for telling my mum that he would deal with it.
Thought you'd all like to know. ~smile~

Also, Dead Or Alive were on TOTP2. The drummer was so so *so* attractive...and...he looks very like my latest object of stalkerage...so...yay!

Also, definitely (barring Acts of God or suchlike) seeing giolla on Sunday! YAY!

Also...mmm....so distracted...~rolls around on floor, purring~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Marble Halls', Enya.