April 11th, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Hmm.

If this all gets any more fucking perfect, I think my head will explode.

Worst of it is, I think it *will* get more perfect.
How on earth can something get *more* perfect, anyway? Surely that's linguistically impossible...

And yet.

darkpooka, giolla, wildeabandon, could *one* of you at least please tell me what time I should be asking my mum to drive me to the station? And where to meet anybody? And when? Please?

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'No More', 3LW, irritatingly enough.
I can fly!

...

Self-preservation instincts?
What?
Never heard of them.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Poison', Alice Cooper. Go on, then, laugh. I did. ~g~
(I've tried patience)

Need to remember...

...that fantasy and reality are Different Things.
(No matter how much one seems to be crossing into the other right now.)

I don't usually have trouble with this, but you know how things sometimes are. wildeabandon once gave me some good advice about the particular thing that's currently bothering me, and I'm sure I should have listened to her.

Oh, and then there's that.
~wanders over to her Memories~
~clicks~
~rereads~
Have determination, will convince.

Eh. Have homework, will do.

Have friends, will shut up. Promise. But...

It seems such a shame to cut myself now...I'm trying not to...but I'm suddenly so very angry and so *very* unhappy and I've finally got around to realising this is all doomed from the start and I can't deal with it and I have to work or my parents will scream at me and I can't pull the covers over my head because I have to work and anyway it won't help and I can't be anyone else and I can't get away and I can't run out and oh god what is wrong with me?
I should be so happy.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Jeremy', Pearl Jam.
I can fly!

Better now...

...wretched mood swings.
Thank goodness - or something - for giolla. ~smile~

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. ~shoots bluebirds~

Later : ~stares~ ~points~ ~falls about in hysterics~ Is someone counting these? I have this wonderful feeling he's going for a world record or something...oh, ROFL.
I'm currently really very distracted for almost no reason at all. Yay!

And something else. I am not inadequate. I'm not. Everything I wished for, I have had, I have, or I will have. Have determination, will convince. Yes. Indeed.
I am not inadequate.
Just young, and fragile.
Until there's something I *really* want.
One day. One day. One day. Oh god...

We now return you to your regular, etc.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Wind On Small Paws', cEvin Key.