April 2nd, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Darling...

...watched VG again this morning for the first time in absolutely *ages*.
There is nothing and nobody on this *earth* like Jack Fairy.
Actually, that's not true. There are at least two people on this earth who are like Jack Fairy - and I've met both of them.

It's good to be me.

Even more reasons it's good to be me? I got post this morning! A Spandau Ballet poster from purplerabbits! Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you...~bounce~

~looks out of window~
~glares at weather~
Remind me to have a word with the weather at some point...it's really let me down today, it promised and everything...

I woke up this morning thinking that today was going to be a really bad day. But it's not *allowed* to be! Hah. ~defiance~

I love you all.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Forever Autumn', Justin Heyward.
(I've tried patience)

*Why* did I come online?

Not only am I now on point of depression once again, but I can't get at anybody who can help.

Perhaps I should try and see this from everyone else's point of view, or perhaps they should try and see it from mine, or perhaps I should shut up and then they would shut up, too.

In any case, in a few minutes' time I will have gone back and made private any post that even hinted at the existence of Tanya and his team of wonderfuls, and I hope it makes ciphergoth very happy.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Incommunicado', Marillion.
(I've tried patience)

ENOUGH already.

Much thanks to everyone who made positive comments - you know they were read and will live on in my memory, but I think this has all gone on long enough and it seems slightly pathetic to delete all the negative ones and just leave the ones that are nice about me, so...~smile~

Apologies to anyone who got offended by any of this. The subject is now *closed* - please, I really would like to avoid tension in my journal and as I have apologised to all concerned, and it was my post that started it all, I think it's mine to put an end to - which this is, hopefully.

Sorry.

E.
x
(I've tried patience)

Hmm.

Fear's a strange thing - it is for me, anyway.
Something was suggested earlier that absolutely terrified me, to the point of tears.
Seconds later, after thinking about it, I was fine.
I don't understand how I got from one to the other, though. I don't understand it at all.

I think what eventually made me okay again was the absolute knowledge that I wouldn't be hurt - but that what frightened me in the first place was not fear of being hurt, as I'd thought, but fear of being laughed at.

I don't think that one's ever going to go away.

Certainly not in this case.

Sigh.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'By Northern Light', Oysterband.