March 20th, 2002

(I've tried patience)


Er, meep. And stuff. Yeah. Just, meep.

I hope everyone else is having an ok day, because mine's turning out lovely...

Later : I am going to go to my next lesson. I *am*. I'm good like that. (Why does it always happen with this lesson on a Wednesday?) I just...I...meep.
Yes, general meepage. (Fought with honour in the 14-18 war....)

I *am* going to go to my next lesson. Because I have to.

Later still : *Am* going. *Am*. *WILL*.

  • Current Music
    'Your Kisses Are Charity', Culture Club.
(I've tried patience)

Right now? I mean, right this second?

I am really, really, really happy.
Not ecstatic or over the moon, not merely content or cheerful, but *happy* - a kind of warm happiness that's wrapped itself around me.

I'm sure this will change very soon, but it's a nice enough feeling that I had to chronicle it...

  • Current Music
    This song called "I Have A Dream" I sang years ago...
(I've tried patience)

And some days...

...I just...want.

Everything I don't have and everything I can't have.

Today is, to an extent, one such day. And yet somehow I'm also very happy with what I've got. I don't understand this, but it's really very nice...

~smile~ One thing I do want that I'm extremely surprised at myself for wanting, though...~g~

Never mind.

  • Current Music
    The same.
I can fly!

~slow tonight~

Me : Oh, fine, fine then, mope, mope, suppose I'll just go to sleep then...
Brain : *nudge*
Me : ...even though it's really early and I don't want to...
Brain : *nudge, nudge, NUDGE*
Me : And - what?
Brain : *NUDGE*
Me : OH! The computer room's being left open all night, isn't it? Oh! Thanks, brain.
Brain : Can I go back to my holiday now?
Me : Sure. Bring my dad back another Mickey Mouse hat, why don't you?
Brain : If I remember.
Me : I won't blame you if you don't.

So here I still am...

  • Current Music
    'Electricity', Apoptygma Berzerk.
I can fly!

Step away from the computer....

...I think I'm about to do something very stupid in*deed*.


Then it ain't so groovy when you're screaming in the night
Let me out of this cheap 'B' movie
Headlong down the highway and you're rushing
Headlong out of control

-'Headlong', Queen.

Still happy. I'll let you know at precisely what stage it all comes crashing down.

You knew you'd do this, Em. You knew you would. You even said it yourself earlier. You were laughing then.

I am right here, you know. Right here.

Later : Miraculously, I may have made it out of this with happiness intact...someone up there really *is* smiling on me...~s~

Er, the above entry should probably just have read "Oh, hey. ~smile~" or something...

...or I should just not have said anything. ~smiles~ Because I am, bizarrely, fine.

Even later : More than fine. Happy. Still. Better. Possibly. Meep.

  • Current Music
    'Love Never Dies (Part I)', Apoptygma Berzerk.
(I've tried patience)

I lied, but...

Only thought of you tonight
Do you remember me
In the brief moments of
Polite questions and answers
I'm so glad that you're here
You seem like a friend
Do I feel good about you
because you sense good in me
do perceptions like this
only occur mutually
I know your name
It fits you well

There's always an appropriate lyric out there somewhere, even if the rest of the song is so inappropriate it's laughable...

I can sleep, now. ~smiles~ Night.

  • Current Music
    'Electricity', Apoptygma Berzerk.