March 18th, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Could it please not be morning yet?

I didn't get to sleep until four.
I sat up in bed hugging the duvet and somehow found more tears.
I really hate coming down from a good weekend, and given that this last one was one of the best ever...~sigh~
Apparently, though, I did something right. Go me. ~half-smile~

Monday started well but continues badly.

elfgeek, aegidian, I'm so sorry.

~sigh~ More poetry this afternoon I think, since my muse was given a good kicking yesterday; I think she was only silent until I got on the train because she was speechless, as well she might have been. (Someone remind me I have to write an explanation of what I mean by love at some point - it's such a bizarre thing to have to do that I'll forget...)

Just did a google search for appropriate lyrics; dash it, there are none. Will have to write them myself, as usual. Oh, the hardship.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Home', Erasure. Such a beautiful song.
(I've tried patience)

~frown~

I'm honestly curious about this.
Why can't being in love *ever* be a good experience for me?

If they're here, they don't love me back and I have to see them every day.
If they're there, they don't love me back and I never see them.

It actually strikes me as rather unfair.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Choir in the hall - flat as usual.
Music

God, oh god.

Music deeper than it's ever gone*; sitting here in front of the computer shaking, shaking, shaking. *So deep*. Jesus.

~blink blink~ Thank you, kitty_goth. Thank you very much.
(Quite apart from anything else, it's reminding me just how utterly beautiful you were on Friday night, and that can't possibly be a bad thing.)

Oh, wow. Wow. This just...and the...and...oh...wow. ~shakes head~

~looks around~ Nothing to see here, everyone...I'm just...it's just...music.
Er, ~bounce~, I expect. ~s~

Later : Oh my god! Oh my god! ~jumps up and down~ OMD cover! And, and, and, wow!
Oh, wow. Thank you so much.


E.
x

*Well, possibly not, but I can't remember the last time.
  • Current Music
    Guess?
(I've tried patience)

This afternoon...

...Princess Anne landed on our school field in a helicopter.

...I worried about Kate a lot, and chased Tanya C down corridors giggling.

...I have the neckache from hell.

...we had the mother of all poetry comparison essays to do, in under an hour. Oy.

Sometimes I really don't understand myself - I warned and warned myself that this weekend I was emphatically Not Expecting Anything, but I warned myself about the wrong bloody day.
Gah. I always get something wrong. ~s~

Fuck, I'm exhausted.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Half Asleep', Apoptygma Berzerk.
(I've tried patience)

Ach.

Please ignore anything I say that might annoy/anger/upset anyone today; I'm both very tired and quite unhappy to be back here after such a fantastic weekend.
I'm sorry.
Much as this is my journal and I suppose I can write whatever I like in it (whatever some may prefer), I still don't want anyone angry with me, upset because of me, or disappointed in me, just at the moment.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Non-Stop Violence', Apoptygma Berzerk.
(I've tried patience)

I will shut up in a minute, I promise...

I'm just finding myself amused by a memory from Saturday.
I was feeling distracted (surely not) by something I'm often distracted by. As usual it related to a specific person.
wildeabandon threw a related statement at me in an attempt, I assume, to further distract me, and I thought, "Hah. That's not related to that specific person, so there's no way that's going to work. Hah."

48 hours later...

(To say nothing of how much everything else is distracting me. It's just that I only just remembered that, and it made me laugh.
Oh god I'm feeling so lonely.)

E.
x
  • Current Music
    The same.
(I've tried patience)

Eeesh.

I think I've had about enough of most people for today.
If you're *not* most people, you're more than welcome to call me and make me feel less like some strange deserted island in the middle of a sea of mediocrity.
Well, less the 'deserted' part, anyway. ~s~

...I'd actually really appreciate speaking to *someone* interesting tonight, since I've spent the whole day doing everything but, and it's hard, after the weekend. ~sigh~

/beg

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Roam', the B-52s.
(I've tried patience)

.........~quiet, controlled, "rargh"~

I know I'm not overfond of women, but.
Men are really, really, really, *really* annoying sometimes.

~drums fingertips on desk~
Rargh.
And indeed rargh.
And possibly grr.

I'm perfectly calm, just angered. But calmly. Yes.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Love Never Dies (Part I)', Apoptygma Berzerk.