March 13th, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Well...

...I spent a good hour and a half going "meep" on the phone to asrana last night and I still haven't out-meeped myself.
So, er, meep. And probably meep, as well.

~curls up in chair~ I feel lost, and empty, and directionless.

Meep.

Later : and I've just been thrown out of choir, which leaves me even more directionless - I've been in that choir for nearly five years now. ~sigh~

I'm happy, but I don't know where I am - I only know it's not where I want to be.

Kate, I repeat - I love you, but you're eight degrees of daft.
I know, asrana, I know, it's not his fault, I know.

Meep.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Choir in the hall. *Flat*. Very.
(I've tried patience)

Sigh.

No, my mother didn't always tell me not to hope for anything because your hopes will always be dashed. I worked that one out myself.
But I forgot, again, darn it.

Silly child. ~slaps self~ Idiot.

It's happened three times this week. I'm just waiting for mum to tell me I can't stay in London, now.

"Darn" is about the best I can come up with. I'm too tired for anything else.

Seems like when anyone else is up, I'm down...

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Hey Baby', No Doubt.
I can fly!

What is it about words, anyway?

Words do very strange things to me. I'm not sure why, since it's generally the case that one is moved by either music *or* words.
But not I, oh no, I could never follow any kind of general rule, could I? ~s~

Words do very strange things to me.
People know this, and they use it to manipulate me.
I'm not sure that I like that all that much.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Nothing just now.
(I've tried patience)

I like being me.

But even more, I like being me being other people.

Over the last four days, I have :
* Tripped on high heels I wasn't wearing
* Tried to find glasses I don't have
* Fallen over a skirt I didn't have on
* Looked for cigarettes I didn't have
* Brushed hair I didn't have, and...
* ...been surprised at having more hair to brush than I expected
and
* Tried to take off trousers instead of a skirt

Which was *really* interesting. ~g~

I love being able to be other people. I adore it. I don't care if you think it's bizarre, I don't care if you think it's bad for me, it's part of who I am, and it's fun, and I'm *good* at it.

Hah. ~laughs~

In other news, how many of you have a distinction between "love" and "in love"? It came up in a conversation last week and I'm curious now...

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'The World Is Not Enough', Garbage.
I can fly!

And so once again I must ask myself...

...what on *earth* am I *doing*?

Apart from listening to The Police's greatest hits and loving every song, that is. ~smiles and hugs self~

Heh. Sorry, asrana, but I think you might be in for another evening of meepage.

Aiyha. What *am* I doing?

Later : Knocking the hell some sense into myself and snapping *out* of it, that's what I'm doing.
Just...get over yourself, Em.
There's a Kate that needs you and Cleo. Go and find him.
Sigh.
Night all.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'King Of Pain', The Police. Wonderful. Sheer. Beauty.