February 28th, 2002

(I've tried patience)

Morning.

Ah, it's Thursday. *Here* comes this week's down.
I suppose I expected it.

But anyway - forgot to say yesterday, and was much chuffed by this :
We had to give in our French coursework before half term, and we got verbal feedback on it yesterday from our French teacher, who isn't given to compliments, but - she told me I write like a professional journalist! In French, no less...she's the third teacher here to say that to me in the last two years and it really made me feel good.

In other news, I do adore TNSSA. Quite apart from coming up with "We love to give. And if that includes ourselves, then, so much the better." or something similar on Y!M with G last night, she also had a phone conversation with the ABDB which went
TNSSA : So you're on your way over?
ABDB : Yes, I am. It's been ages since I've *seen* you, let alone anything else!
TNSSA : I suppose I do owe you one.
ABDB : I was rather hoping you were going to *give* me one...
TNSSA : Oh, I'm going to give you several. And they'll last for *weeks*.

People everywhere are writing things. It's good, because that tends to help me with writers' block, from which I'm suffering at the moment. I'm beginning to wonder if I should just write a page of whatever comes out, then go back and try to hack it into something vaguely decent...~sigh~
And G - isn't it strange how our minds twist to accommodate a new meaning of "she"? Why isn't it more confusing...~s~ It confuses everyone here, believe me!

I hate Thursdays.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    Bloody Christina bloody Milian, again.
(I've tried patience)

My life is...

...suddenly becoming very interesting.
I think this is a good thing. I think.

My thanks today as yesterday to wildeabandon.

~pause~
My life is clearly also becoming very strange. ~s~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    ACS singing "Barrel Of A Gun" at me, *badly*. ~g~
(I've tried patience)

~rolls eyes~

I just had The Marilyn Manson Argument with someone...it does get tiring after a while.

Has anyone seen my muse? ~sigh~ I need him right now...

Oh! ~giggles~ Forgot - the ABDB texted TNSSA this morning saying "All very nice here in your bed; think I could fit under the desk at work?"
I was amused. Some days the ABDB is very annoying, simply because he's the ABDB, but some days I really like him. And at least he kept TNSSA company last night. ~s~

Also...I've now read through ACS, TNSSA, OTL, Batman, James P. Sullivan, ABDB, LWPB, the Small Fuzzy Cute Thing and several of their friends' journals...and I've run out. Where to next, guv?

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Hey Baby', No Doubt.
(I've tried patience)

My own personal Room 101...

* Ali G
* Loud people
* Beach holidays in England
* Being blasé about one's own, or others', problems
* Puff Daddy (I refuse to rename him, it's stupid enough already)
* Ian McEwan's "Enduring Love"
* Harrison Birtwistle
* Bourbon biscuits

I really could enjoy life more if this all went away. What would yours be?

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Barrel Of A Gun'. ACS, you really *can't* sing, you know.
(I've tried patience)

Fuck, it's a fucking conspiracy.

Thursdays hate me! They really hate me! I just had a really nice lunch out with Nadia, and I come back here ready to smile at you all and oh HELL now I just can't show my face in public any more...

Damn it. ~cries~ Damn. Damn. Damn it all to hell. I. Hate. Humiliation. Hate it. Hate it so much. Oh, fucking HELL.

Christ.

I want to die.

E.
x

I haven't hurt this much, or cried this much, or shaken this much, or been this frightened, in weeks.
(I've tried patience)

Ahem.

Yes, I'm overreacting. I'm an insecure teenager with a real thing about humiliation. I'm allowed.

On the other hand, or rather this hand, which now has a small hole in it. ~shakes head~

Jesus, yes, of course I'm being attention-seeking! I'd apologise, but you *know* me and you *know* I do this from time to time. And you know I'm sorry, too.

And my arm is sticking to my jacket sleeve. That's really horrible. ~shudder~

Anyway, off to my singing lesson,

E.
x
  • Current Music
    '(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight', Cutting Crew. Really.
(I've tried patience)

Um. Business as usual?

Ahem. Sorry.
Went so far off the deep end I think I wound up in Australia.
Sorry.
Thank you, purplerabbits. I'm just very silly at times.

Sorry. Um. Ahem. I feel very stupid now.
But not as stupid as I did then, so that's much better.

Sorry.
Sorry.
~sheepish smile~ Can we just forget about all that?

E.
x

Oh, and I forgot - "or bores you", indeed. ~rolls eyes~ Well, that's my French lesson taken care of...
  • Current Music
    'Them Girls Them Girls', Zig & Zag. Seriously.
(I've tried patience)

I love typos...

...when people I'm in awe of make them, it makes me feel so much better. ~happy smile~

More happiness after choir...but total adoration at the moment to ergotia, babysimon and katyha - and her kittens. ~s~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja', The LostProphets.
(I've tried patience)

Hmm.

Every time I attend choir these days, it seems like we exert so much effort to achieve so little. I mean, for god's sake, we're singing Bach instrumental pieces to "La la la" and "do be do be do"...it's not stunningly inspiring, no matter how you look at it.

So many of you have done what you could to make me feel *so* much better, today. I'm really sorry I was all adolescent at you. ~wry smile~

I'm trying to understand why this whole business of TNSSA in a suit is getting to me the way it is...~tilts head~ I don't understand myself. But it's fun trying!

I feel better.*

E.
x

*I even feel better because I'm feeling extreme annoyance towards someone of whom I'm normally afraid. Annoyance counteracts the fear. Yay!
I just realised why I knew today would be bad. I'm slow! ~s~ Never mind.
  • Current Music
    'The Day The World Turned Day-Glo', X Ray Spex.
(I've tried patience)

LOOKIT!

~mwreep~
The extraordinarily nice person who reads my LJ and won't say who they are is, I assume, responsible for giving me a paid account for two months.
*Also*, I have PICTURES again! I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Look! Go look at them! Aren't they beautiful?

Oh, wow.

*ding* And thank you, adjectivemarcus! ~happy~

E.
x

~g~ Time to reread ACS's journal. It's been a while.
Hence the falling over giggling every few minutes. ~g~
Em is happy. This is, I think, a Good Thing.
Wheeeee! ~jumps through linkage, gets distracted, falls over~
  • Current Music
    The theme tune from forgotten kids' show Parallel 9...
(I've tried patience)

Yay.

* Huge grin.
* New friends.
* Feeling better.
* Will speak to G soon, I hope.
* Tomorrow is Friday.
* I'm becoming more tolerant, more open-minded, and more loving.
* I've got a feeling a few people care about me. Odd thought, that, but very nice.
* I might be getting a handle on ACS's style, so writing may happen.
* James P. Sullivan just cracked me up *intensely* with something he wrote ages ago.
* I have New Order in my head.
* I have a paid account for two months.
* I have pictures again.

Wow. That's a lot of yay.

Yay!
G'night.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'True Faith', New Order.