February 12th, 2002

(I've tried patience)

"I love you."

OK. I've been thinking about this for too long. I don't get it. I just don't get it.
If I love somebody, for a start I want to tell them. The only reason I wouldn't is if I think the consequences of telling them would be harmful to me - and you know even that doesn't always stop me...heh. If it's someone who isn't going to mind, I always tell them, and because I love so many people, I certainly don't expect to hear it back.
When I was talking about Chris to one of my friends last term, she was absolutely stunned to hear that he'd told me he loved me. I saw nothing odd in it - particularly since I'd told him first, but still...
I've also recently been told by two friends that they find it difficult to tell their boyfriends that they love them.
And I don't understand it. What's so hard about saying "I love you"? Or why do I find it so easy? Is it because I have a clear and definite distinction between "I love you" and "I'm in love with you", which I rarely say? Is it a girl thing, do we find it easier, and if so *why*? Are people wary about saying "I love you" because they don't think they'll hear it back? To me that seems extraordinary, but I actually recently had someone *apologise* to me for not being able to return an "I love you". ~s~ I don't understand it at all. I mean, I can see that not everybody is comfortable with saying it to just anyone, of course, but when it's someone with whom you're in a relationship...?
Can anyone offer any thoughts?

E.
x

By the way, if anyone notices anything familiar in this, please leave it as nameless as I've put it; there's a reason I've not named anyone. Except for Chris, of course - hope you don't mind, love. ~s~
  • Current Music
    It's still there...~sigh~ Clark, Lex, I love you.
(I've tried patience)

Eek!

Stop saying distracting things! I have essays to write! ~g~

E.
x

Later : Stop saying cute things, too. I love you.
  • Current Music
    'Hey Baby', No Doubt. I really must get it. Must. Shall.
(I've tried patience)

Meh.

Something he said just really made me laugh. And I was thinking "Wow, things you say make me so happy." And then I thought "God, isn't it awful that the things he says make me this happy, just because I love him". And so now I'm miserable again.

Meh. I *keep* doing this. Sigh.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Falling', Alicia Keys, and I wish it would leave my head.
(I've tried patience)

Oh...

...am I ever going to understand this? ~holds it up to the light and looks at it from all angles~
Sigh. Where are you, and you, when I need you to explain it to me?
Well, I know where you are, but *you* could help me out...

~head in hands~ Must...override...conditioning....must....override...

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Hey Baby', No Doubt.
(I've tried patience)

I am so in need of That 70s Show fanfic...

...so my life is probably not as fraught with complicated issues as the rest of you. Sorry!

That boy is too pretty to exist...

Rather unfortunately, all the sites I can come up with are blocked by the school. Which is extremely irritating. And oh my god, ff.net is blocked now, too! ~rage rage rage~ This is hugely unfair.

~giggles~ I've got a Yahoo! ad that just came up saying "Why settle for lipstick made for the masses?" and it's making me blush, and giggle. Oh, dear. There is no hope.

I'm awfully lonely tonight. Ah well. I expect this situation is not going to improve, so I ought to get used to it.

E.
x

Later : I suppose I'm just in one of those moods again, something one or two people might want to bear in mind if they're inclined to post comments - or even if they're not. ~s~ At least my language hasn't degenerated into a third-rate Brontë parody this time...~g~
  • Current Music
    Whatever they're playing in the hall.
(I've tried patience)

Grief...

...learn to spell. ~watches respect disappear like egg-timer sand~ ~shudders~

E.
x

Later : Memo to self : Ability to do fantastic makeup does not equal fantastic person. This is something I really seem to have difficulty remembering.
AND I'm sorry, but when someone writes something and spells it right, and then you're replying to them, and you spell it wrong...~groans and buries head in hands~
  • Current Music
    The same.
(I've tried patience)

Sisters are doin' it for themselves...

Three of my friends, Nadia, Eddie and Rosy, just put on a performance of The Vagina Monologues in our school theatre, in aid of RAWA and FORWARD (whose webpage I can't find, if it has one).
I am so proud of them I want to run up and down the streets shouting about how great they are. What they just did could have been really awkward and uncomfortable, and instead they got a fantastic audience reaction and gave a wonderful performance and I am SO PROUD and I just wanted you all to know how great they are. ~g~
  • Current Music
    The above Eurythmics & Aretha Franklin song.
(I've tried patience)

~falls off chair laughing~

Oh, I love it when someone I really really have a huge crush on does something that makes me shudder! They lose points! ROFL Like G's brother with his bad taste in music...
Oh, I am truly horrified. Yay! ~helpless giggling~

Apologies. Last entry, I promise. ~more giggling~

E.
x

Later : I promised this would be my last entry, so I've got to put this here. As I was listening to a conversation two of my characters were having earlier, one of them said
"That's just how it is with this business. If something's wrong, they tell all their other partners, but they never tell you."

~shakes head~ It was such a weird thing for them to say, as well...they're normally so positive about it...
Mind you, they'll have changed their tune in the morning, judging by what they seem to be planning tonight. ~g~ ~gets out pen and paper~ Oh, this is just so much fun...
  • Current Music
    'Endlessly', John Foxx.