November 12th, 2001

(I've tried patience)

ROFLMFAO

Right. Two things that cracked me up this morning :

I was in breakfast talking to Miss McNair about the love triangle in 61 and about Valerie J being involved, whom, I'm sure you've gathered, I'm quite attracted to. Yes? Well.
Me : But yes, there's someone else involved.
Her : Oh, oh, can I guess?
Me : Go for it.
Her : Is it someone in House 2?
Me : Yes.
Her : Someone in a position of authority?

I died. The images of "Juniat" and "authority" are just too much for me to take.

Also, you all have to visit this website. Like, right now.

E.
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  • Current Music
    ARGH 'Angels', Robbie Williams, ARGH ARGH ARGH
(I've tried patience)

LMFAO

Welcome, the one person (possibly) who will understand this :


METROGNOME: What Salieri calls Mozart behind his back.


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......

E.
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  • Current Music
    'Shinobi', Lostprophets. Oh yes.
(I've tried patience)

And I think we've all heard this one before...

Anton Stadler lurched into a tavern, clearly having had one too many drinks already. The tavern waiter, who was a foreigner, stared at him in disbelief as he flung himself on a bench and tossed a small burlap sack on the table. It jangled unmercifully.

"Can I get you anything?" asked the waiter, in a thick American accent.

Stadler scowled up at him, the opened the bag. Out he pulled a beautiful little piano made of polished oak, with beautiful ivory and ebony keys. It was about eighteen inches long, and exquisitely made, complete with painted cherubs under the lid.

"Wow!" beamed the American waiter.

But that wasn't all! Stadler looked at him with disgust, then reached in and pulled out a small piano bench, perfectly in scale with the instrument itself. The waiter, fascinated, sat down on the opposite side of the table. "This is remarkable," he cried, "What else do you have?"

With a subdued snarl, he reached nside and pulled out -- Mozart! The waiter had heard that Mozart was a very small man, but not THIS small! In fact, he measured only about twelve inches in height! He was beautifully dressed, like an exquisite doll, but his attitude was far from doll-like. He was angry and shouting and shaking his tiny fist, his voice so small and squeaky that he sounded more like a mouse than man.

"Oh, shut up!" Stadlershot back at the miniaturized mozart.

"This would never have happened if you hadn't swiped my pawn tickets!" cried the tiny voice.

"Never mind that now --- waiter, can you get us a couple of beers?"

"Does he really play that piano?" The waiter was astonished.

"Does he really play...of course he does, you Yankee twit -- he's Mozart, remember?"

That being said, Mozart reluctantly sat down at the piano and played an improvization hat was proof enough of his identity. As he played, the waiter stared at Stadler in admiration. "How did you ever do this?"

Stadler reached into his sack one last time, and he drew out an old Aladdin's lamp, still with the pawnbroker's claim number attached to the handle. "Find out for yourself," he said, "and hurry up with those two beers."

The waiter was very curious now, and he took the lamp in both hands. "Is this for real?"

"I told you -- find out for yourself."

"Yeah," Mozart chimed in, "Find out!"

The waiter rubbed the lamp, and in a puff of purple smoke, a beautiful Genie appeared. Her luxurious hair was lavender, as were her shear coulats. Her jerkin was deep purple, and her arms, neck and ears dripped with gold and jewelled bangles. "What is your wish, O Master?" she smiled.

The waiter gasped in wonder, then cried out, "I wish for...for a million Continental American bucks!"

The Genie disappeaed back inside the lamp, and moments later, a fat white duck waddled into the tavern. It was soon followed by another, then another, and within minutes, the tavern was filled to bursting with flapping, quacking ducks.

The dismayed waitertossed aside two or three of them. "Your genie is hard of hearing," he complained. "I asked her for a million BUCKS. What am I going to do with a million DUCKS?"

Stadler smiled cynically. "Yeah...and do you really think I'd have wished for a twelve-inch pianist?"
  • Current Music
    The same.
(I've tried patience)

OH MY FREAKIN' GOD...

...I just happened to come into the common room as they were watching That 70s Show. Which is always great, and you know, Ashton-filled, and stuff, but, um...
...this just had to be the episode where Donna (I'm pretty sure that's her name) makes Ashton's character wear mascara.
And then blusher.
And then lipstick.
And then a dress.

And OMFG HE LOOKED SO GOOD...

Val? Hold me. ~faints~

E.
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  • Current Music
    'Stayin' Alive', The Bee Gees.
(I've tried patience)

Some Boy George lyrics for you to...well, ignore, probably:

Genocide Peroxide

Beautiful child in razor heels
Sashays into the room
All the boys, they catch their breath
And the mirrors swoon
Now she's running down the hall
Head scarf and a Hollywood smile
She's got a dagger in your back
And a killing style

Love and hate, it's all the same your way
Just another twisted game to play

Evil, child star, movie queen
Evil, sweet charm, Mabeline
Evil, no-one gets the better of me

Your father's rage and a cocktail dress
With a bullet proof heart
Why is your life in such a mess
If you're so damn smart
Judy Garland, Jimmy Dean
You tragedy queen
Give me fat girls, give me rough boys
Give me what I dream

Love and hate, it's all the same your way
Just another twisted game to play

Evil, child star, movie queen
Evil, sweet charm, Mabeline
Evil, such a pretty boy that I've never seen

Love and hate, it's all the same your way
Just another twisted game to play

Evil, child star, movie queen
Evil, the sweet charm, Mabeline
Evil, no-one gets the better of me


Same Thing In Reverse (my favourite BG song; it sounds all angsty, but let me tell you the music is...well...barn dance music. ~ggls~)

How does it feel, what do you do
When he's all alone with you
Do you kiss him, hold his hand
Who's the woman who's the man

Is it twisted it is sick
Mother nature's little trick
I don't have to feel no shame
In God's image I am made

Your brother doesn't understand
How you could love another man
Your poor father thinks we're cursed
It's the same thing in reverse

It's the same thing in reverse
Nothing better nothing worse
It's the same thing in reverse
It's the same thing it's the same thing

Love is!

What can you say where do you go
Do you want the world to know
Make a prison of your fear
Be a kamikaze queer

Bite my lip hold my tongue
Hope I'm not the only one
I don't have to be afraid
In God's image I am made

Your brother doesn't understand
How you could love another man
And your poor father thinks we're cursed
It's the same thing in reverse

It's the same thing in reverse
Nothing better nothing worse
It's the same thing in reverse
It's the same thing it's the same thing

Do I love him, yes I love him
So don't question my affection
This is not some damn affliction
It's just love in contradiction

It's the same thing, it's the same thing

Black boys in cars
White boys with poisonous hearts
Even on the one eyed guru
And why the hell you looking at me

I never wanted to be part of the gang
I never saw this as part of my plan
I walk down the street with pride
Happy that you're by my side


Cheapness and Beauty

This is a real addiction, confusion and cheap tattoos
A princess, a car thief, and a lost shoe
Loneliness, laughter, lust, the promise of pain
Judas in blue jeans tell me your name

Eyes across the room, unspoken
Eyes, glitter promise
Cheapness and beauty
Trickery and lies
Cheapness and beauty
Oh I'm so weak sometimes

Glue for the broken toy, the wings for the saint
A buddah, a false God, and some war paint
Wasting your wisdom, yes, but who can you trust
Love holds a mirror up to all of us

Eyes across the room, unspoken
Eyes, glitter promise
Cheapness and beauty
Trickery and lies
Cheapness and beauty
Oh I'm so weak sometimes

It's much too late to say goodbye
Despite all good advice
This pain is such a part of me
I won't apologize
For running to your rescue
Though you slap me in the face
It doesn't really matter
'Cause we always fall in love again

Cheapness and beauty
Trickery and lies
Cheapness and beauty
Oh I'm so weak sometimes


Unfinished Business (written about an ex-lover who lives just down the road from me. wanker.)

Boy I know your secrets
Though you brag and swagger
And you lay the women down
You're the same tough guy
That cried in my arms
And kissed me when the lights went down

I hear you married some Danish girl
I'm so glad that it wasn't me
'Cause you're like so many of those boys I've known
You break your promise easily

Unfinished business, fox in the headlights
Tears for what might have been
Unfinished business, crawling out of the woodwork
You know how to ruin a good dream

See your life reflected in my painted eyes
These memories are hard to shake
I pressed my lips against your trembling flesh
And waited for your back to break
You liar, you coward, you sleeping fool
Don't you know that secrets kill
Heaven and hell are right here on Earth
Decided by your own free will

Unfinished business, fox in the headlights
Tears for what might have been
Unfinished business, crawling out of the woodwork
I know how to ruin a good dream

Now go tell your friends that I'm mad in my head
That I don't know what I mean
You walk like Jack and you love like Mary
And you're more than a bit of a queen

Unfinished business, yeah tough guy
You know exactly what I mean

You lie, you lie, you lie
You lie, you lie, you lie

Unfinished business, yeah
You know exactly what I mean


Il Adore; For Stephen, who died of AIDS

Mother clutches the head of her dying son
Anger and tears, so many things to feel
Sensitive boy, good with his hands
No-one mentions the unmentionable, but everybody understands
Here in this cold white room
Tied up to these machines
It's hard to imagine him as he used to be

Laughing screaming tumbling queen
Like the most amazing light show you've ever seen
Whirling swirling never blue
How could you go and die, what a lonely thing to do

Silence equals death, this is what they say
But the anger and the tears do not take the pain away
How far must it go, how near must it be
Before it touches you, before it touches me
Here in this cold white room
Tied up to these machines
It's hard to imagine life as it used to be

Laughing screaming tumbling queen
Like the most amazing light show you've ever seen
Whirling swirling never blue
How could you go and die, what a lonely thing to do

Did you ever ask those strangers what they're looking for?
Did they laugh and tell you they're not really sure?
You were hurt by love but still you came right back for more
Il adore, il adore, il adore


E.
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  • Current Music
    'Unfinished Business', Boy George.
(I've tried patience)

Gah!

Lucy made me late for class, again.

Mind you, telling you lot has made me even later.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Nasty', Janet Jackson.
(I've tried patience)

What law is it that controls this?

By "this", I mean the simple empirical fact that every time you unexpectedly run into someone you fancy, you either are doing something stupid or immediately start to. Why is it?

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Celebrity Skin', Hole. Yick. ~shudders~ Leave. Now.
(I've tried patience)

Yay!

Dasha bought me white chocolate!

I love Dasha, too, but don't tell her 'cause it freaks her out. ~wink~
(Well, if she will keep buying all those leather coats and high-heeled boots...)

~ggls~

E.
x
  • Current Music
    GET OUT OF MY FREAKIN' HEAD!
(I've tried patience)

Gah.

Dear LiveJournal :

Your fucking page is fucking fucked again. Please fucking fix it. Thanks.

E.
x

Oh, and I'm guessing Chris went back to sleep, since I didn't hear from him in the ten minutes including and after half past.

~sigh~
  • Current Music
    'Gotta Get Thru This', Daniel Bedingford. ~laughs @ Daniel~
(I've tried patience)

LMAO

Still, every site on the net being messed up has its perks...

CyberPatrol is all confused and I can FINALLY get into Diana's site! ~bounces~

Sean tonight, 'cause we need cuddles.

E.
x
  • Current Music
    'Pure Pleasure Seeker', Moloko. (Yup, that's Sean alright.)