October 2nd, 2001

(I've tried patience)


I just started up Yahoo! Messenger, and got an alert saying he had added me to his friends list. I know I said I wouldn't talk about him, but that's just...odd. I know he's a very forgiving person but it would take a saint to forgive me for the things I've said about him...~shrug~.

Ack, I have one of those annoying keyboards where the connections are fucked, where if you press @ you get " and vice versa, and if you press ~ you get |...gah.

I finally finished my Chino/Brandon story! Yay! And I wrote a poem last night that I'm quite pleased with; a friend challenged me to write a poem where the first word of each line rhymed rather than the last. Because I was all Linkin-Park-ed-out last night, it kinda came out as Mike Shinoda writing about Chester, but still :

The voice splitting the glowing darkness,
Screaming in my head.
The choice was never mine completely,
Dreaming against my will.

Caught by that golden energy,
This is beautiful torture.
Thought I could make him change;
Kiss him and he'd be mine.

Fear, and rage, and then he kissed me back.
I shiver at the memory even now.
Here on stage he bleeds his soul in words,
A river born of the lost child he is.

Change doesn't come easily to him, a fact
Belying his mercurial character.
Strange to think a few hours ago, he was
Crying in my arms like a weeping tangle of barbed wire.

These days I spend my time wishing I could
Hold him like that for always - without the tears.
I'd freeze time, if I knew how, but he'd be
Cold as if frozen in my embrace anyway.

I know, I said "kinda" Mike Shinoda...I doubt "mercurial" is in his vocabulary, but then, Fred Durst starts spouting Keats when he comes near me. And I've just 'met' Aaron from Staind. Bless. ~ggls~ And this girl here who is just amazing has no friends.....which might seem sad but really it's a good thing 'cause it means I can go and ask her if she's ok.

I'm having an odd day.

And...there are two people who I really wish were here right now, neither of whom I've actually met. One of them I want to hold tight, and the other I want to hold *me*. ~sigh~ I've never met him and yet I feel so safe in his arms. Oh well.

  • Current Music
    'Hunter', Dido. We might have to tape it off someone.
(I've tried patience)

I feel ill...~ggls~

And I quote a ff.net summary : "Sapphire is a 17-year-old self-confessed 'groupie', with nothing to live for but the moment."
and :
"THis is a story starring me..:-) and how I meet Marilyn Manson.. That's about it..."

Yick. Yick. Yick. Yick. Yick.

Jewel got off with her best friend's brother. Maybe that's why I'm feeling down. Hmm.

  • Current Music
    The same.