And my poor, tired little mind just can't cope with all this.
I mean, sheesh, I've had my emotions messed around with before, I've had them stripped and hung up and flayed and then spattered with vinegar, but this is...something else. It's something else because the last people that did it, I *knew* they were doing it on purpose. Tonight, I just can't be sure. And it hurts so fucking much, because I so want it to be...well, the way I want it to be...and I keep thinking "What can I do, what can I give him, to make him feel the same way that I do?"
And a tiny tiny part of the time, he acts as though he does.
And the rest of the time I spend with little little pieces of my heart breaking off, and tears flooding my keyboard, dammit.
Oh well. It's been pretty good for the last thirty minutes, so...that's a good sign.