I am sort of already engaged to two people, and I've got my eye on a third (not to mention my close personal relationship with W. B. Yeats), so I realise this is a bit out of line, but I don't suppose you'd consider marrying me, would you? Come to England - we'll find you a basement to work in and you can come and run around parks with me and look at stuff, it'll be awesome. I will give you literally anything you want, and all I really ask in return is that you somehow patent your style of writing, because I think if anyone else sang this :
If speed's a pro, inertia must be a con,
'Cause the cold wind blows at precise rates when I've got my ice skates on...
If all the roads were paved with ice they wouldn't thaw or crack -
I could skate from Maine to Nebraska, then on to Alaska - and back...
I'd probably have to brain them with a saucepan or something? Whereas you, well. I'm quite glad nobody witnessed that slightly embarrassing display of actual out-and-out pure unadulterated joy I just had here hearing that for the first time. HOW DO YOU DO IT? There's no need to buy a ring, we'll work it all out when you get home. South London is lovely this time of year.
PS Don't think I haven't wondered whether you're secretly fictional. There are some striking similarities.