DurAnorak (duranorak) wrote,


Tagged by the lovely stephmog, although (while I love being tagged for memes) I don't tag other people (for the same reason I don't play truth or dare), so forgive me for not entering 100% into the spirit of the meme. Nevertheless.

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

01. What is essential for your happiness?

Music, a sense of wonder, somewhere safe to sleep, the knowledge that death is a viable option. Not to be wanky about it, I just couldn't live thinking that I wouldn't be able to die if I needed to. There are people who make me happy, but I wouldn't be able to say they were essential for my happiness, as I've thought that about people in the past and if I believed all those people I've lost were essential for my happiness - i.e. the lack of them is why I'm so unhappy now - I would just go spare, heh. But I can't smile without music, and I was never happy trying to crush my own sense of wonder. The world is full of the most amazing things, and fortunately people make music that goes with the things! I love my Halloween playlist.

02. What clothes are you wearing at the moment?
Black. :) Black socks, black skirt, black shirt (with cats on it), black underwear, black jacket/cardigan thing and a huge fluffy mahogany-coloured dressing gown (oh, okay, it's brown) because it is SO COLD. and a scrunchie. shhh.

03. What games did you recently finish?
I don't play games, particularly, although I have been working my way through the one-hour-free-trial section of Great Day Games and one of them made me cry my eyes out because all the music went with the patterns of the game and it was like being in Cyberdog when I used to go and stand in there and just trip out in front of the speakers. No drugs, just music. Kinetic synaesthesia, or whatever it is, ++++.

04. What is your favourite scent?
It is really weird to me that just over a year ago I would have only been able to answer this question with 'ugh. Perfume. what. Cerruti 1881, I suppose, it reminds me of my mum' and now I could give an hour-long lecture on the joys of alternative perfume companies. I can't choose a favourite. But it is October tomorrow, and so will begin two months of alternating between Guy Fawkes from Arcana, which smells of bonfires, burning leaves, and my dad lighting the fire in our living room, and BPAL's Samhain 07 (thick treacly mulled apple cider), Sugar Slathered Candied Apple (exactly what it says, on me) and Trick Or Treat (candy corn! DUDE.). Oh god, I love autumn. And perfume.

05. What books are you reading at the moment?
I am still recovering from Stone Heart, which I still haven't managed to talk about properly, chiefly because I try and all I manage to get out is OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SOMEONE ELSE CAN SEE WHAT I CAN SEE, and then I sound like a crazy person! So never mind.

06. What do you drink the most?
Coke. And water, or at least, I'm getting better at that these days. The coke is an addiction, though.

07. Do you trust easily?
Y'know, my immediate answer to this is always 'yes, woe, it has been oft shattered' or something, but I. I don't know that I really do, any more, and that's sad. I used to trust just about everyone, because I used to think just about everyone could trust me, and so, you know, why shouldn't it be the same the other way around? But these days I feel so cut off from that, so fractured and fragmented into little cold bits that can't trust anyone. I don't really know what to do about it. There's a song by (We Are) Performance (one of my favourite current bands) the chorus of which opens Do you see what those vandals did to me? They have taken everything... and I tear up whenever I hear it, because that's how I feel all the time. Sigh.

08. Who was your first big crush?
The first really serious crush I recognised as a crush was probably on James Collins in my year at school - he wasn't particularly good-looking but he had these amazing jewel-blue-green eyes hidden behind round glasses, and I adored them. There was also Ben Pellett, who played the piano and wrote songs and was beautiful and in love with my best friend, which sucked. I don't remember which came first, or indeed whether either of them actually came before the hilarious crush on Neil Maclean which led to a) me using Macleans toothpaste for THE REST OF MY LIFE (because once I've got used to something change is bad), b) me trying to call the police on one of his classmates who had convinced me that he'd forced Neil to drink a bottle of citric acid and Neil was going to die, and c) the exciting song I made up about Neil's bit-part in the school production of My Fair Lady that year, which was all about the blissful experience of watching him pretend to faint when Eliza shouts out "move your blooming arse".
I was a very, very, very, very, very, VERY SPECIAL CHILD.

09. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A singer. First and last and always. I never will be, and that's hard. Now, I don't know. I want to be glad to be alive.

10. Do you have a good body-image?
Ahaha. No. No, I really...I like my hair, most of the time, and I like my eyes, and the rest of me I really would just. mutilate and burn, if I could do it with no pain. I detest myself. Especially this year, worse than it has been since school, these past couple of months.

11. Do you have an LJ crush?
Of course, I wouldn't know where I was without crushes on people. The ones I have on people just for their writing are always a bit different, but there are those, too.

12. What websites do you visit daily?
LJ, DJ, IJ, Tastespotting (oh god why must pictures of food make me so happy), GoFugYourself.

13. Random pet peeve?

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Deeply, deeply lovely, in many ways I do understand, and political in ways I never will, which makes me sad (that I'm rubbish, not that she's political :). Kind, compassionate, country rather than city, open and a little lost.

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
One of the bits of instrumental from American Psycho. I worry about myself sometimes.

16. What's your favourite item of clothing?
My corset, naturally.

17. What's better: to give or to receive?
Dude, I don't know. I was put on this earth to give, to be nothing more than a well to be drained for other people's whatever, but I also don't know anyone much more materialistic than I am, so. I don't know.

18. What's the book you've read most times?
The Belgariad series by David Eddings. Don't judge. They helped me through a lot.

19. Is there anything you want so bad right now?
Many things. Cupakes, hugs, my bestfriend to be okay, for it to be October 24th in two days (to give me time to pack!), a second part-time job (it is, currently, a possibility), a doll, MAC's discontinued Parrot eyeshadow, to be where certain people are right now, to live entirely in the water, to go home, to have a home, to make life better for many people, for past loves to come back to me, a cup of tea. Among others.

20. What should you be doing right now?
I don't know. Answering this meme less honestly, probably.

21. Whats the meaning behind your LJ username/name/nicknames you go by?
Heh. DurAnorak is self-explanatory and I can't bring myself to change it even if it's not as true as it once was.


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