The Surreptitious Placing Of Mushrooms In Trees is an action practiced by the Society for the Surreptitious Placing of Mushrooms in Trees, if indeed they exist. They were hypothesised one glorious Autumn day in Sherwood Forest in 2004 with booklectic and djm4, as, walking through what remains of the forest, we spotted a tree with a huge slab of mushroom growing out of it. But wait! Was it, in fact, growing out of it? It was not; it had been broken off from another tree and placed in the tree in which we saw it. We looked around for any trace of the original fungus and could see nothing whatsoever.
Upon which, obviously, we decided that it had been put there by the Society for the Surreptitious Placing of Mushrooms in Trees. Alas, they are a secret society with no web presence, so I have never yet been able to prove their existence.
Old Gregg's Downstairs Mixup is a) the unfortunate physical circumstances of a character in The Mighty Boosh and b) a hypothetical cocktail imagined by adjectivemarcus (we don't know what's in it, but we know it has to come out green). For the benefit of those who live under rocks or in other places where the Boosh is not the currency of the comedy realm, Old Gregg is a funky merman who lives in a cave under a lake, has seaweed for hair and wears a pink tutu and go-go boots. He's also the victim of a cruel twist of fate in which he has the power to hypnotise men but only through the blinding light that shines from between his legs where, to his eternal bewilderment, he is female. "You've seen me," he says to Howard Moon, "You've seen my downstairs mixup".
I, uh. I find Old Gregg kind of compelling. Not attractive as such, but unbelievably sad and moving and all sorts of things you're not meant to find him because he is an hermaphroditic merman version of Rick James. (This goes a long way towards explaining why.) Oh, all right, I do sort of find him attractive. But then he is Noel Fielding in a lot of makeup.
The Latex Glove-Packing Factory was once the industry in 'Industry' by The Modern (now Matinee Club), at least, according to myself and notintheseheels, and we know everything. The Modern used to travel with a French ringmaster named Remy who had a penchant for theatrical gloves; when they handed out goody bags at their Modern Love nights, one of the things contained within was (often) a single latex glove. In the end we decided that Remy owned, in his spare time, the latex glove-packing factory and that was where, some years ago, Nathan and Chi had worked and generally fallen in love and...what? I see the slash everywhere. You should know this by now.
It's probably not all true, anyway. Probably.
Any more? Trying to find ways to pass the next couple of hours. :)