* The current UK number one is a charity version of 'Is This The Way To Amarillo?' by the strangely still just a little bit cool Tony Christie, as mimed by Peter Kay. Fine as it stands; the video is a little more bizarre, featuring as it does pretty much every hero of kitsch still living. Ronnie Corbett is in there. So is Jimmy Saville. Ken and Deirdre. Keith Harris and Orville. Brian May and Roger Taylor. Michael Parkinson. And...hang on, is that Bez and Shaun Ryder? I mean, what?
* BBC2 this morning reran The Nation's Favourite Breakfasts, a bit of an oddity in and of itself, but even more so once I realised it was being narrated by RICHARD E. GRANT. (You may not have lived until you've heard him talk about porridge. Then again, you may.) And had as its theme music - which I find even more bizarre - a dance remix of 'I Travel' by Simple Minds.
* I missed this in 2002, for which I am profoundly grateful, but all credit to TOTP Saturday for bringing the horror into my living room three years later; S Club fucking Juniors had a cover of 'Puppy Love'. I'm sorry if this brings back painful memories for anyone who knew about it at the time. For one ghastly, terrifying moment as I saw snow falling in the video and a kid singing about love in a squeaky little voice I thought it was about to be 'Long Haired Lover From Liverpool'. Small mercies.
* Beck was on CD:UK this morning with a random guy who looked like a young Dave Lee Travis in shades dancing around pointlessly to the side. Does this make Beck the new Happy Mondays or the new Howard Jones? Enquiring minds, and all that.
Incidentally, this morning I was going through the listings on teletext to see what was coming up, and I saw the sweetest words anyone can ever see :
"9.00 Dick And Dom In Da Bungalow Crazy fun, competitions and games for kids. Last in series."